Psychotherapy, Creativity, Spirituality and Healing

No longer posting here, I have moved my blog.

2011-03-17T08:17:00.000-07:00

I'm no longer posting to this blog. I have moved my blog to: Spirituality, Psychotherapy and Positive Psychology
Hope you'll visit me there.

Study Proves that Psychotherapy Saves Lives

2011-02-07T14:19:00.000-08:00

CNN Health reported on a study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine last week indicating that group cognitive behavioral therapy appears to "have the ability to protect people with heart disease from dying of their illness. On the other hand, almost a decade ago the largest study ever to examine whether antidepressants have the same long-term, lifesaving effects in people who have had a cardiac event came up negative...the group CBT intervention focused on the following five goals: education, self-monitoring, skills training, cognitive restructuring and spiritual development."

University of California Television has made a highly informative lecture entitled, "Coping With Stress: Cognitive-Behavioral Stress Reduction" available that you can view via the youtube video above.

Each Day is a Gift

2011-01-26T06:22:00.000-08:00

On this grey, bitterly cold day, I take a deep slow breath and remember the following words of wisdom...

"May you experience each day as a sacred gift woven around the heart of wonder."
~John O'Donohue~

Poem for a New Beginning by John O Donahue

2011-01-23T10:47:00.000-08:00

I just read a wonderful poem at the Awakening Awareness Blog
A poem that speaks to so many wonderful people whom I travel beside...

Poem For a New Beginning

In out of the way places of the heart
Where your thoughts never think to wander
This beginning has been quietly forming
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire
Feeling the emptiness grow inside you
Noticing how you willed yourself on
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the grey promises that sameness whispered
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.
~john o donohue~

Awakening The Dreamer, Changing the Dream

2011-01-12T18:27:00.000-08:00

What will it take to create a world that is environmentally sustainable, spiritually fulfilling and socially just? The Awakening the Dreamer, Changing the Dream symposium addresses these questions and more. Watch the above video and then check here to find out where the next symposium will be in your part of the world. On January 29th I'll be attending the symposium in Portland, Maine from 10:00 to 4:00. If you're in the area, I encourage you to consider registering to attend.

The symposium is described as, "an interactive transformational workshop that inspires participants to play a role in creating a new future: an environmentally sustainable, spiritually fulfilling, and socially just human presence on this planet." Symposium facilitater, Maggie Cheek wrote, "In our 4 hour symposium we aim to wake people up and create Change Agents in a state of Blessed Unrest who are inspired, equipped and empowered to spread our commitment to changing the dream of the modern world." I'm looking forward to the 29th.

1,000 Amazing Things

2011-01-12T13:42:00.000-08:00

The Book of Awesome: Snow Days, Bakery Air, Finding Money in Your Pocket, and Other Simple, Brilliant Things

The late nineties were rough years for Neil Pasricha, and after his wife told him that she no longer loved him and a close friend committed suicide, he came home from work one day and in an attempt to cheer himself up he started a tiny little blog he called, "1000 awesome things." In a TED talk he explained, "I was trying to remind myself of the simple, universal, little pleasures that we all love, but we just don't talk about enough -- things like waiters and waitresses who bring you free refills without asking, being the first table to get called up to the dinner buffet at a wedding, wearing warm underwear from just out of the dryer, or when cashiers open up a new check-out lane at the grocery store and you get to be first in line -- even if you were last at the other line, swoop right in there." And this sweet and simple little blog eventually won a webby award and launched a bestselling book.
We all need to be reminded of those tiny and all too often uncelebrated pleasures in our lives. So I think I'll start with just 10. Let's see...

1. warm towels
2. Baked bread
3. Birds flying in formation
4. The smell of the forest in spring time
5. A puppy's kiss
6. Pumpkin pie
7. The first sip of hot coffee in the morning
8. That feeling that comes right before you drift off to sleep
9. Absorbing the warm sun on my face
10. Being moved by a piece of music
11. Laughing so hard my muscles ache (oops getting carried away here, only supposed to write 10.)

Yup. I feel better. Your turn. Try it. Just list 10....

9 Choices Extremely Happy People Make

2011-01-11T11:26:00.000-08:00

In How We Choose to be Happy, authors Rick Foster and Greg Hicks identify 9 choices that extremely happy people make. What are those choices? The happiest people:

1. Consciously choose happiness over unhappiness
2. Choose to accept full responsibility for their thoughts, actions, and feelings
3. Choose to look deeply inside of themselves to determine what makes them uniquely happy vs. looking to others to learn what should make them happy
4.Choose to keep what makes them happy cenral in their lives
5.Choose to convert problems into opportunities and find meaning in even the most painful times
6. Choose to be open to new opportunities and remain flexible and ready to adapt when the unexpected occurs
7. Choose to possess a deep and ongoing appreciation for all that is good in their lives and to stay present focussed
8. Choose to give of themselves generously and without expectation of being rewaded
9. Choose to be honest with themselves and others

I'm going to spend some time reflecting on the exceptionally happy people that I know and consider how closely this criteria fits them. Does it fit the extremely happy people you know? First of all, who are those people in your life? Have you identified them yet? What do you think makes them so genuinely happy?

The Great Bell Chant and the End of Suffering

2011-01-05T11:39:00.000-08:00

A Warm Embrace - The Great Bell Chant (The End of Suffering) from R Smittenaar on Vimeo.

Need to feel centered, grounded, at peace? Take a few slow and deep and deliberate breaths and then watch the video above while continuing to breath slowly and gently. It is a meditation spoken by Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh accompanied by the chanting of Phap Niem and absolutely beautiful visuals. A feast for the eyes, ears, heart, and soul...

Brene Brown on Courage, Connection, and the Power of Vulnerability

2011-01-03T07:02:00.000-08:00

Last night I wateched a funny, touching, and oh so wise talk by Storyteller and researcher, Brene Brown, on vulnerability and what she describes as "living whole heartedly."

Brene asks, "How do we learn to embrace our vulnerabilities and imperfections so that we can engage in our lives from a place of authenticity and worthiness? How do we cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection that we need to recognize that we are enough – that we are worthy of love, belonging, and joy?" And she observes, "“Our lives are a collection of stories – truths about who we are, what we believe, what we come from, how we struggle, and how we are strong. When we can let go of what people think, and own our story, we gain access to our worthiness – the feeling that we are enough just as we are, and that we are worthy of love and belonging.

If we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don’t fit with who we think we’re supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and have to hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving. Our sense of worthiness lives inside of our story. It’s time to walk into our experiences and to start living and loving with our whole hearts.”

Brene reminds us that each of our stories are filled with beauty, and strength and wisdom, as well as pain and loss and vulnerability, the quest in part becomes about honoring all of it, even the hard stuff, and loving the story still...

On Blessing This Day, January 1, 2011

2011-01-01T13:30:00.000-08:00

Life Lines: A Daily Journey

Today is a quiet reflective day, while anxiety swirls all around me, I find peace and comfort by the warmth of the fire and meditate on Linda Faltin's wise words in "Life Lines: A Daily Journey."

"Now
Who knows how many
Years lie ahead of me?
What they will bring?
What I have is now
Who I am
What I have learned
Through living my life.
And a gift for words
My own ‘voice”…
Creative Spirit, inspire
Me to begin anew with
This new year…
To re-order and re-new
And re-energize…
To open myself to the
Holiness & wholeness of my life,
However it plays
itself out.
I wrap my arms around,
embrace, accept
the gift of this day.”

I will accept and bless this day, this gift, this life, this moment, this now...

Christmas Wish Lists and a Life to Love

2010-12-23T08:37:00.000-08:00

David Myers wrote, "We excel at making a living but often fail at making a life. We celebrate our prosperity but yearn for purpose. We cherish our freedoms but long for connection. In an age of plenty, we feel spiritual hunger." He wrote those words during a time of economic prosperity, long before the economic peril we are experiencing now. Today, far fewer of us celebrate the prosperity he was referring to while still longing for connection and purpose.

Today I am haunted by the memory of a woman I saw in the grocery store last night. She looked tired to me, tired and unspeakably sad. She was turning over the hams, one after another, and she seemed to be noting the price of each one. Eventually she moved away from them, her shopping cart still empty. I am thinking right now of the far too many people who I picture wandering around the stores this holiday season, surrounded by plenty and taunted by all that they can't have, can't give...

Today far more of us worry about how we will make a living in order to support ourselves and those we love, when now more then ever it seems we need to consider how we might make lives we can more readily love...

Craig and Marc Kielburger, brothers and authors of "Me to We: Finding Meaning in a Material World" observe, "In the struggle to meet deadlines, impress clients, and advance through the ranks, it's easy to become so focused on accomplishing specific tasks that we lose sight of how our actions impact our personal well-being, not to mention that of those around us. Many of us fall into a trap and work long hourrs because of a sense of responsibility to others, not being able to say no at work, or trying to provide 'only the best' for our family. We make these choices with good intentions, but in the end they are not the best for our family, or ourselves. We get sucked into a way of life that does not fulfill us."

Our Christmas wish list's are all too often filled with material goods that might stroke our egos or fill our time, but do very little to fulfill our souls. Now, more then ever, it's time to ask new questions and create new lists.

Places to Visit:

http://www.saintnick.org/

http://www.buynothingchristmas.org/index.html

http://www.downtownexpress.com/de_84/celebratingchrismas.html

Life, Lessons, Death and Love

2010-12-11T12:02:00.000-08:00

My mother is tiny, fragile, and bald. From the moment I learned that she had lung cancer, it seems that the volume on my life has been turned up. It is a strange thing to feel with such immediacy the beat of a fierce and imperfect love in your heart along with the tight cold specter of death in your chest. The simplest things seem poignant and almost sacred - a gathering of birds, the soft, vulnerable, hairless top of an infant's head, the memory of my mother's hand reaching out for my own, an old song on the radio...

When the tiniest cracks make our most well protected surfaces vulnerable, the depth and mass of what begins to filter in can all too often threaten to overflow and perhaps even break out, break through, break us open....

Author and cancer survivor, Michael Dowd, asks readers of his blog, "Can we tell our own personal stories in a mythic sense, with a flourish? Can we find a way, in hindsight, to evoke gratitude even for the disasters in our lives?"

When I am enmeshed in the details of this particular chapter of my cstory, I am acutely and profoundly aware of the pain and the peril presently flowing through it. And yet, when I breathe deep, step back, and widen my lens, I am able to witness and absorb the beauty and the possibility (even now) that lives within it.

We learn from every single experience of our lives and each time I look back over the landscape of my own life - over my own mythic story - I am reminded again and again of how much I have learned of purpose and meaning, resiliency and strength, and of love and light from sharing and daring the dark...

Andrew Solomon on his book, "The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression"

2010-12-06T09:01:00.000-08:00

Despite the poor quality of the introduction, this lecture by Andrew Solomon, author of , "The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression," (based on his own struggle with major depression) is well worth the time it takes to listen.

Following is a quote from Solomon's book:

"Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don't believe it. Seek out the memories depression takes away and project them into the future. Be brave; be strong; take your pills. Exercise because it's good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds. Eat when food itself disgusts you. Reason with yourself when you have lost your reason."

On the PBS special, "Depression: Out of the Shadows" Solomon observes,

"I always say that the opposite of depression is not happiness but vitality, and that depression has to do with finding all of life totally overwhelming...

...clinical depression really has to do with the feeling that you can't do anything, that everything is unbelievably difficult, that life is completely terrifying, and a feeling of this free-floating despair, which is overpowering and horrifying...

...So that's the real message of hope, is that you can get better. And when you do get better, not that you'll look back on it with great longing, but you may look back on it and think, 'I learned a lot by going through that. And I'm a better person because I did it.'"

Why Gratitude Matters

2010-11-23T09:13:00.000-08:00

Thanks!: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier

This year as Thanksgiving approaches I am more aware than ever of the importance of practicing gratitude and thought it might be helpful to share some particularly good resources on the why's and how's of cultivating gratitude starting with a 4 minute youtube video clip of Robert Emmons, author of "Thanks! How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier."

Other resources I'm particularly appreciative of include:

Gratefulness Org

I Am Thankful

Spirituality Practice's collection of pages on gratitude

Yesterday I was sent the following quote by Melody Beattie, "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow." I am working to tap into the enormous potential contained within a sustained gratitude practice.

A Reality Show Worth Watching on Happiness

2010-11-17T13:07:00.000-08:00

In the process of developing a psychoeducational course entitled, "The Art and Science of Happiness" I was referred to the first episode of a new reality show entitled, "Making Australia Happy" http://makingaustraliahappy.abc.net.au/episodes.php?watch=1 which is based on a research project that yielded impressive and hopeful results. The website introduces the project with the following:

" The experiment begins in Marrickville, the heart of an area recently identified by Deakin University's annual wellbeing index as one of the unhappiest in Australia. As we meet the eight volunteers, we learn that their happiness levels are way below the national average. The team of experts has just eight weeks to change the volunteers' scores, and their lives.

How will socially phobic Cade cope with the challenge of connecting with strangers at the local mall? Can mindfulness really help stressed-out real estate agent, Tony? Will gratitude help father-of-four, Stephen, strike that elusive work-life balance? How can the youngest of the volunteers, Ben, benefit from writing his own eulogy?

Science claims that happiness is easily within our reach, but how will these scientifically validated techniques play out in the lives of ordinary Australians? The results are more than startling."

You can watch the first episode by following the program link above.

The Present Moment

2010-11-02T07:05:00.000-07:00

A very special person sent me the following meditation by Taoist poet, Chade Meng.

"A lifetime is not what is between
the moments of birth and death.
A lifetime is one moment
Between my two little breaths.
The present, the here, the now,
That's all the life I get.
I live each moment in full,
In kindness, in peace, without regret."

A perfect message here and now....

Gail Sheehy and Passages in Cargiving

2010-10-28T12:26:00.000-07:00

Passages in Caregiving: Turning Chaos into Confidence

   Harper Collins promotes Gail Sheehy's new book, "Passages in Caregiving: Turning Chaos into Confidence" by pointing out the following: "Forty-four million Americans care for an ill or elderly person in their homes. Yet until now, there has not been a single resource they can turn to for direction, support, and inspiration to cope with this bewildering and complex new role. Adapting the appealing format of her phenomenal bestseller Passages, Sheehy identifies the nine crucial stages of caregiving and offers insight for adapting and successfully navigating each. With empathy and intelligence, backed by formidable research, and interspersed with the poignant story of her own experience, Passages in Caregiving addresses the needs of this enormous and growing group and is sure to become the touchstone for this challenging yet deeply rewarding period in our life journey."

   During an interview on the Today show Gail describes eight "turnings around the  labyrinth of caregiving" which are:

1. Shock and mobilization ("where time speeds up and you are working off adrenaline day and night... Your emotions run wild. You may wake to the first light of morning in a sweat, convinced you never slept.")

2. The New Normal (" You are living with a new uncertainty, and you are not going back to the old normal.")

3.  Boomerang ("Everything has settled down into a new normal routine...You're handling it, thinking OK, I can do this. And suddenly, BOOMERANG! A new crisis erupts.")

4. Playing God ("By now you’ve become a seasoned caregiver. You’re good at it... People say you are heroic, and you are beginning to believe it. You are Playing God.")

5. I can’t do this anymore! ("...one day, a year or two or three later, you break into tears, totally fatigued. Same thing the next day. You’ve given up so much. You’re cracking.")

6. Coming back ("This is the crucial turning. It now becomes clear that your loved one is not going to get well and will become more and more dependent and needy. You are approaching the center of the labyrinth... You may touch the depths of despair. ...it is here that caregivers...begin the effort of coming back to life.")

7. The in-between stage ("This is a momentous turning point for those who care for the chronically ill. Your loved one cannot be cured...but he or she is not ready to die—and may live on for years."

8. The long good-bye ("This is the last turning. No one can answer your most burning question. How long? Inevitably, there will be times when you see your loved one suffering that you will likely feel: Why can’t you die? ...Then, of course, you’ll feel guilty for thinking such a thing.")

   As one of those forty-four million caregivers and as a fan of Sheehy, I'm looking forward to reading her book.

Getting Through Tough Times with Positive Psychology

2010-10-23T09:50:00.000-07:00

During this journey through my mother's lung cancer I am relying heavily on the concepts of positive psychology to help us get through. In "Happiness: Lessons From a New Science," Richard Layard wrote, "cultivate the sense of awe and wonder, savour the things of today; and look about you with the same interest as if you were watching a movie or taking a photo. Engage with the world and with the people around you. In one sense, as Leo Tolstoy said, the most important person in the world is the one in front of you now."
We leave before sunrise each week day morning to make it for mom's radiation treatment on time. Yesterday, while pulling out of the drive way I noticed how incredibly beautiful the full moon looked hanging in the pre dawn sky. I pointed it out to my mother and we stopped the car and savoured it. Within a few moments I began to feel my breathing deepen and my body relax as I allowed myself to drift toward the pull of the moon. We hadn't needed to venture into the wilderness, or even stroll through a park, all we had to do was to simply pause and look up to be connected with something vast and beautiful and transcendent. I reached out and took my mother's hand and allowed myself to fully take in the blessing of it all....

Love, Cancer, and Reclaiming Body and Soul

2010-10-17T19:51:00.000-07:00

   For the past two weeks I've spent ten hour days at a major cancer center where I've been exposed to and touched by suffering, heartbreak, love and beauty on what often seems like a moment to moment basis. One moment I am sitting at a table of patients and artists beside a pale and exhausted looking teenager hooked up to an iv  who is working on an intricate and truly beautiful collage while completely ignoring the rest of us. On my other side is a fragile looking middle aged man with kind eyes who has dropped by the Arts in Medicine room before his chemo infusion.  When he begins to describe the puppy he is considering adopting and asks us what we think he should name her, the teenager looks up, takes us in for what seems like the first time, and suggests that he name the puppy, "Hope."

   The next day while sipping coffee in the radiation center waiting room I am joined by what is beginning to feel like a sisterhood of mostly bald headed women who huddle together for a few moments each morning to compare side effects, symptoms, laughter, and reassurances. This capacity of shared trauma for so quickly fostering authenticity and intimacy is remarkable to me.

   That same afternoon while at the infusion center I notice a husband and wife sitting across from me and am struck by the fact that while the wife is the one receiving the chemo infusions, it's he who looks ill and absolutely terrified. I smile at him reassuringly and He lifts a trembling hand to wave at me.  I very much doubt that this wan and stoop shouldered man has seen his thirtieth birthday yet.

   I see pain everywhere. And I see love all around me. And I see fear and courage and despair and hope. This just may be the most terrible, beautiful, most real world I have ever landed in. I've had several long and heart felt talks with complete strangers, and ocassionally I ask them what they've discovered thus far that has surprised or encouraged them. A common response to my question alludes to the acts of kindness cancer patients and their loves ones have experienced from strangers and how significant even the smallest gestures have felt to those who were feeling frightened and vulnerable. "Maybe it is love that does the most healing," one breast cancer patient shared with me.

   In her book, "When the Heart Waits," Sue Monk Kidd observed that “…a split of the head from the heart is common in our culture. Along with this goes another painful splitting: the severing of our body from our soul. As we separate from our feelings, we tend to separate from our bodies as well.” In this culture of cancer I have repeatedly heard stories that describe in one form or another a kind of reunion of body and soul. They are never happy stories, instead they contain pain and suffering and fear, and yet, they are so often transformative.   Stories that begin with one person's abrupt and often savage introduction to a body that he or she had been living with for a life time and yet never known. Dramas that present crisis and pathos and uncertainty, and encounters that cannot possibly be prepared for because they involve a confrontation with the wildness of one's very soul. For days now I have sat saddened and spell bound by stories that throb with both pain and love and ultimately seem to lead to the 'awful grace' of a hard won and weary wisdom.

Failure, Imagination and J.K. Rowling

2010-10-08T14:11:00.000-07:00

I hear a great deal about fear and failure these days from both adolescents and adults who come to me for support, reassurance, direction and (gulp) wisdom. I think when appropriate I'll begin referring them to J.K. Reynold's wonderful address to Harvard Graduates where she shared..."So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realised, and I was still alive..."

Failure, while always painful and never welcomed, is often a pathway to possibilities that we seldom recognize in the beginning.

I encourage you to watch her speech and enjoy the opportunity to both laugh and be inspired...

He Was Me by Peter Reynolds

2010-09-28T13:04:00.000-07:00

"He Was Me" by Peter Reynolds is a touching story aimed at those of us who have lost touch with the deeply buried and often forgotten child which lives within each of us.

Live Every Moment of Your Life

2010-09-18T20:42:00.000-07:00

The above lecture is approximately one hour in length and is by a wonderful author and physician, Rachel Naomi Remen. She offers much wisdom and insight which each of us can benefit from.

Remen once observed, "Most people have come to prefer certain of life’s experiences and deny and reject others, unaware of the value of the hidden things that may come wrapped in plain and even ugly paper. In avoiding all pain and seeking comfort at all costs, we may be left without intimacy or compassion; in rejecting change and risk we often cheat ourselves of the quest; in denying our suffering we may never know our strength or our greatness.”

At this particular time in my life I'm surrounded by suffering, suffering so deep and dark that I have sometimes felt buried by it, and at other times blinded by it. I certainly haven't welcomed a single moment of it. And yet, I am also as acutely aware as I've ever been of the kindness and compassion of strangers, the both fierce and gentle power of love, of compassion, of hope... I have witnessed again and again the profound magic that can be contained within a single moment.

I cannot embrace this teacher but I am trying very hard to stay open to the all too often painful lessons that I am being taught...

Letting Go

2010-09-11T11:27:00.000-07:00

In dealing with my mother's cancer I am continuously reminded of the importance of taking one day at a time and letting go of as much of the 'small stuff' as possible. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, "Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and ubsurdities have crept in;forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsence."

I encourage her (and myself) to treat each new day as a gift - particularly those exquisitely precious ones that contain no doctor appointments, chemo infusions, or radiation treatments. What might we savor today?

The future of Spiritual Practice

2010-09-05T14:37:00.000-07:00

I've not posted as often as I like to as we recently learned that my mother has lung cancer, and I'm in Florida to be with her through this process. Consequently for the time being my posts will probably be less frequent and shorter than usual.

I did want to share with you that a free teliseminar on the future of spiritual practice can be registered for at http://beyondawakeningseriteies.com/

You can also receive more information at the above website. Speakers
include but are not limited to: Ken Wilber, Barbara Max Hubbard,
Brother David Steindl-Rast, Ram Dass, Rick Hanson, and Andrew Cohen.

A small portion of the teliseminar description contains the following words, "How can a living spirituality enable human beings to create more enlightened responses to our common problems?

There is no more important conversation—or commitment to action—in the world today.

Join us as 27 of the most dynamic contemporary spiritual teachers engage in this series of dialogues. Each teacher will bring a distinct, profound, and catalytic perspective to the Big Conversation. Each has drunk deeply from the wisdom of the past, and is also embodying their wisdom in a new way, freshly attuned to the challenges of our moment."

Prosperity without Growth and the Simplicity Movement

2010-08-23T16:10:00.000-07:00

Voluntary Simplicity: Toward a Way of Life That Is Outwardly Simple, Inwardly Rich

During the past year I've witnessed a number of families, couples, and individuals struggling to survive and or recover from the continuing economic storm. In all too many instances I've found myself comforting and supporting people who have lost their jobs, have had their standard of living substantially reduced, and who have lost their homes in some cases. A national survey conducted in 2009 found that "Individuals who are unemployed are four times as likely as those with jobs to report symptoms consistent with severe mental illness. Americans who experienced involuntary changes in their employment status, such as pay cuts or reduced hours, also are twice as likely to have these symptoms, even though they are employed full time..."

The lives of millions of Americans have been disrupted and "the unknown 'next chapter' seems the scariest of all" laments a middle aged professional who has been unemployed now for well over a year.

While it's all too true that the begining of these 'next' life chapters have all been highly distressing and anxiety provoking, I've been touched and encouraged as I've observed the unfolding of some very special'next chapters' - chapters that have led to loss in terms of reduced material wealth and yet have yielded significant personal growth and greater overall mental health.

Until recently our global economy produced more wealth than at any time in history and yet overall levels of happiness failed to rise, while the use of antidepressants increased substantially. Tragically, it appears that our material prosperity came at all too high a cost to the planet, her inhabitants, and to future generations.

Author of "Prosperity Without Growth," Tim Jackson, connects the economic crash to a world view that led to far too many of us “Spending money we don’t have, on things that we don’t need, to make impressions that don’t last, on people we don’t care about,” and encourages us to use this current economic crisis to dramatically shift our value systems and engage in life styles that promote far greater well-being and true prosperity. In a review of his book, EarthScan: Publishing for a Sustainable Future
affirmed, "The book opens up dialogue on the most urgent task of our times—the challenge of a new prosperity encompassing our ability to flourish as human beings—within the ecological limits of a finite planet."

As a therapist and grandmother, I am grateful to those who are offering us healthy alternatives to a currently toxic economic system.

I've been tremendously impressed by a social movement that has been identified as "voluntary simplicity" and have altered my own life as I've continued to learn from it. Author of "Voluntary Simplicity" and one of the most respected leaders of the movement, Duane Elgin, describes voluntary simplicity as "living in a way what is outwardly simple and inwardly rich. This way of life embraces frugality of consumption, a strong sense of environmental urgency, a desire to return to living and working environments which are of a more human scale, and an intention to realize our higher human potential — both psychological and spiritual — in community with others..."

Following are some links to a few voluntary simplicity resources.

Simple Living Net
Choosing Voluntary Simplicity
Mother Earth News
Take Back Your Time

Helpful Mindfulness Resources

2010-08-19T04:29:00.000-07:00

"Because we don’t know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that’s so deeply a part of your being that you can’t even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless." Paul Bowles

Being mindful is about being fully present to the moment and to the miracles that surround us. There's been a tremendous amount of research recently affirming the effectiveness of engaging in mindfulness practices, particularly mindfulness meditation. There are also some excellent resources available online. I thought I would include a few of them here:

The Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA offers a very nice introduction to mindfulness meditation as well as online guided meditations that you can listen to and practice.

The Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy website provides information regarding a promising form of therapy particularly in the treatment of depression called mindfulness based cognitive therapy.

Mindfulnessorg.au offers helpful information, instructions, and techniques.

While the practice of mindfulness is no panecea, nor is it for everybody, if you haven't explored it at all, it might be a good time to do so.

10 Things People Do that Can Intensify Depression

2010-08-11T06:41:00.000-07:00

In an article published on the CBS website, Dr. Stephen Ilardi, the author of The Depression Cure, discused common behaviors that people engage in (or fail to engage in) that can make depression worse. They include:

Lack of exercise
Not enough omega 3 fats as well as too much sugar and simple carbs in your diet.
Insufficient sunlight exposure and not enough vitamin D
Poor sleep habits
Not spending enough time with friends and family
Spending too much time ruminating about what's wrong in your life
Not spending enough time with optimistic happy people and or too much time with negative people.
Failing to reach out for help and support

Smile More and Be Healthier, Happier, and Live Longer

2010-08-05T09:17:00.000-07:00

There's been a great deal of research demonstrating that smiling offers significant benefits to our mental and physical health.

Zen master, Thich Nhat Hanh suggests a smiling meditation that I've found to be extremely useful. It goes like this:

"Breathing in, I calm my body. Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment
I know this is a wonderful moment."

It's important of course that you smile and hold that smile for a few moments as you recite the above. You may also want to try the inner smile meditation

Following is a link to an article that addresses the benefits of smiling as well as a three minute youtube video that deals with smiling.

Stay Healthy. Live Longer. Stay Married. Smile.

An Interview with Lyubomirsky on "The Secrets to Happiness"

2010-07-21T06:55:00.000-07:00

The Thinking and Behavior Patterns of Very Happy People

2010-07-21T05:45:00.000-07:00

According to Sonja Lyubomirsky, in her excellent book, "The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want," very happy people tend to share the following characteristics:

"They devote a great amount of time to their families and friends, nurturing and enjoying those relationships.

They are comfortable expressing gratititude for all they have.

They are often the first to offer helping hands to coworkers and passersby.

They practice optimism when imagining their futures.

They savor life's pleasures and try and live in the present moment.

They make physical exercise a weekly and even daily habit.

They are deeply committed to lifelong goals and ambitions (e.g., fighting fraud, building cabinets, or teaching their children their deeply held values.)

Last but not least, the happiest people do have their share of stresses, crises, and even tragedies. They may become just as distressed and emotional in some circumstances as you or I, but their secret weapon is the poise and strength they show in coping in the face of challenge."

While many of us don't naturally demonstrate all of these charactetistics, we can certainly work to cultivate them if we choose, and the investment in time and effort appears to be well worth it...

Creativity, Work, Genuis, and Invitations

2010-07-15T05:48:00.000-07:00

We are, each and everyone of us, creators. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of “Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention" asserts that creativity provides a central source of meaning in our lives. When we’re engaged in a creative act, whether it writing a poem or designing our garden, we are fully alive and caught up in the present moment. Csikszentmihalyi asserts, “Contrary to what we usually believe . . . the best moments in our lives, are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times--although such experiences can also be enjoyable, if we have worked hard to attain them. The best moments usually occur when a person's body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile…Creativity is a central source of meaning in our lives ... most of the things that are interesting, important, and human are the results of creativity... [and] when we are involved in it, we feel that we are living more fully than during the rest of life.”

Throughout our lives we are continually called to create - our relationships, our work, and our challenges in particular are essential invitations to creation which beckon us to stretch, to learn, and to grow. Where in your life are you most engaged in the process of creation, and what are you creating?

Ray Anderson: A Wake up Call and a Message of Hope

2010-07-08T14:38:00.000-07:00

Ray Anderson read Paul Hawkins' book, The Ecology of Commerce in the summer of 1994 and later shared that it was like an arrow shot into his heart. On a TED's Talk
he told the audience the following:

"In his book Paul charges business and industry as, one, the major culprit in causing the decline of the biosphere, and, two, the only institution that is large enough and pervasive enough, and powerful enough, to really lead humankind out of this mess. And by the way he convicted me as a plunderer of the earth..."

His talk is less than 16 minutes and is a nice illustration of how much we can accomplish when we decide to change course.

Shawn Achor on "The Science of Happiness and Potential"

2010-07-05T08:22:00.000-07:00

Shawn Achor began his studies on happiness as an undergrad student at Harvard and continues to teach there with rave reviews. During an interview with Stephanie Michele , Michele asked Achor what he thought was the biggest obstacle to an individual's happiness. Anchor responded, "It is the failure to believe that our behavior matters. To me, happiness is the joy we feel striving after our potential (as a business person, family person, mother, friend, athlete, musician, etc.). We lose our happiness when we feel that we stagnate and do not grow. If a person does not believe their behavior matters, they are less likely to create positive habits, less likely to perform acts of kindness, and less likely to pull themselves through a challenge. If you think you don’t matter at work; you hate work. If you think you can’t get better at something; you stop trying. If you think you are unhappy and can’t change; then your brain is less likely to change. The key to happiness is to remember we can keep growing and taking responsible for our own behavior. How we respond to reality can change that reality."

I absolutely agree with him and highly recommened that you watch Achor's lecture on "The Science of Happiness and Potential." I have embeded part one of his lecture here but don't stop there, continue on with it.

Will I be Pretty?

2010-06-29T13:44:00.000-07:00

The above is for every woman who has ever worried about her appearance or heard her daughter ask, "Mom, will I be pretty?"

Gross National Happiness American Project

2010-06-28T20:26:00.000-07:00

In 2009, inspired by Bhutan, a tiny new democracy in the Hemalaya mountains, the Gross National Happiness American Project was born in Vermont. The organization echoes Bhutan's assertion that as important as measuring a country's 'gross national product' is measuring the well-being and happiness of its citizens. The Gross National Happiness website explains that gross national happiness is "based on the premise that the calculation of 'wealth' should consider other aspects besides economic development: the preservation of the environment and the quality of life of the people. The goal of a society should be the integration of material development with psychological, cultural, and spiritual aspects – all in harmony with the Earth."

Gross National Happiness involves nine dimensions; psychological well-being, health, balanced management of time, community vitality, education, culture, environment, governence, and standard of living.

Considering the terrible toll materialism has taken on the planet and its people, it is always heartening to learn about fellow Americans who are advocating for a healthier and more sustainable way of living.
If you have a few minutes, pay a visit to their website

Questions to ask yourself at the end of the day

2010-06-23T06:30:00.000-07:00

Cultural anthropologist and author, Angeles Arrien, suggests that we ask ourselves four
reflective questions at the end of each day in order to integrate our experience, develop our character, and live more consciously. Those questions are:

1. Who or what inspired me today?
2. Who or what challenged me today to stretch and grow?
3. Who or what surprised me today?
4. Where was I touched and moved today?

The Science of Happiness

2010-06-21T15:56:00.000-07:00

What makes us happy? Watch BBC's The Happiness Formula What you learn may surprise you....

Psychotherapy as a Form of Spiritual Practice

2010-06-10T08:35:00.000-07:00

     Marcia Hill wrote in "Diary of a Country Therapist, "A very expensive profession, psychotherapy. Emotionally it has cost me dearly: in echoed heartache, in secondhand images of cruelty and sufferig. But if psychotherapy has cost me the innocence of not knowing, it has also given me the keys to transformation. It has been for me a form of spiritual practice."

   Wikipedia defines spiritual practice as, "intended to develop an individual's inner life; such practices often lead to an experience of connectedness with a larger reality, yielding a more comprehensive self; with other individuals or the human community; with nature or the cosmos; or with the divine realm."

   When comparing psychotherapy to spirituality in In Search of Common Ground,  Frances Vaughan observed, "...many of the processes that contribute to psychological health and well-being contribute to spiritual growth as well." Vaughan points out that the following are integral to both both psychological and spiritual development: telling the truth, releasing negative emotions, effort and consistency, authenticity and trust, integrity and wholeness, insight, forgiveness, awareness, liberation and love.

   On his website psychotherapist Jim Moyers writes, "The Greek word, psyche, translates as "breath, life, or soul" in English. "Therapy" is derived from therapeia, the attendant who served both gods and humanity in the temples of ancient Greece. “Psychotherapy” can thus be described as the sacred work of attending the soul, carefully nurturing the most essential aspects of who and what one is. The idea that the psyche has its own regulatory system that strives for integration and wholeness is at the heart of my work as a psychotherapist, an "attendant of the soul... Psychotherapy as practiced by Jung and those who follow in his footsteps is, at its best, a means for reconnecting with a mysterious Something deep within that gives life purpose and meaning."

   While I am still reflecting on the ways in which doing psychotherapy intersects with spiritual practice, I am clear that being a psychotherapist has both fostered and demanded significant spiritual growth of me.

Martin Seligman on Positive Psychology

2010-06-09T13:22:00.000-07:00

   What is positive psychology? According to Psycholgy Today it's "the scientific study of what makes life most worth living. It is a call for psychological science and practice to be as concerned with strength as with weakness; as interested in building the best things in life as in repairing the worst; and as concerned with making the lives of normal people fulfilling as with healing pathology."

   Martin Seligman, the psychologist that brought the world positive psychology talks about it on TED here

   Interested in attending an online course on positive psychology or a live workshop in Lewiston or in Portland Maine? If so, contact us here

"Catch it, Check it, Change it": Tools for Fighting Depression

2010-06-06T14:32:00.000-07:00

   All too often, when you're depressed, negative thoughts can take over; thoughts that you might have immediately recognized as false when you were feeling better can suddenly feel like cold hard facts.

   In Peaceful Mind: Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Psychology to Overcome Depression, authors Mcquaid and Carmona describe several techniques that are helpful for countering depression including "Catch it," "Check it," and "Change it."

   Using Catch it, Check it, and Change it (or the 3 c's) involves first noticing the thought that is creating difficulty (catch it), deciding if this thought is accurate (check it), and replacing an inaccurate thought with one that is more accurate and helpful.

   You can learn far more about how to begin using this technique by going here

   Our thoughts shape our experiences, our feelings, our very lives. Norman Vincent Peale observed, "change your thoughts and you change your world." There's a tremendous amount of truth in those 8 little words, enough truth to change a life...

A Mystic in Love with the Beauty of the World

2010-05-21T06:44:00.000-07:00

I have been dazzled the last two days by the beauty that surrounds me, the flowers in my neighbors garden, the hypnotic reflection of sunlight dancing on the lake, the green, green grass on an open field with rolling hills that I drive by every day on my way to work. In an article
that I read this morning (I could not identify who the author was) the following is quoted from Matthew Fox:

"people are born mystics—we are all mystics as children, but it’s taken away from us as we grow older. It’s taken away subtly by education which trains the left brain and ignores the right brain. They take away your crayons right when you need them most — at puberty. When you should be getting to your cosmic soul they give you football and shopping-malls. And that’s what religion won’t tell you — that we’re losing the planet. We have everything to lose, it’s basic. And that’s why the only resolution is an awakening of gratitude and reverence for the planet, and falling in love in more than an anthropocentric fashion.”

Every day I need to remember to fall once again in love with all the beauty in the world and I invite you to do so too, this might just be our best hope for saving it and ourselves...

Is the Pursuit of Happiness Making Us Miserable? - Petrea King

2010-05-17T06:41:00.000-07:00

The Hidden Spirituality of Men

2010-05-14T07:32:00.000-07:00

The Hidden Spirituality of Men: Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine

Matthew Fox's book, The Hidden Spirituality of Men: Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine" is Fox's attempt to assist men in opening their minds to a deeper understanding of the healthy masculine and to inspire them to "pursue their higher calling to reinvent the world."

I thought I'd offer a few quotes from this book as food for thought.

"In America boys commit 86% of all adolescent suicides."

"Global warming is also a global warning: a warning that we are not doing well as a species and as a planet. One out of four mammal species is dying out, and where are our leaders? Where are the elders? Where are the men?"

"...boys get shamed for their vulnerability at a very young age, right around Kindergarten, and that's the time at which they really learn to hold off from expressing their feelings and experience." (Mark Micolson)

"Many men are abused at work, some in their bodies, others in their souls."

"There's a difference between being a soldier and being a warrior..." If the warrior is distinct from the soldier, then there must be distinct ways by which the warrior develops his or her strength. If the warrior is the mystic in action, then let us try the following four steps on for size...

One: THE VIA POSITIVA
The Via Positiva is the way of celebrating life... This is the way of reverence, respect, and gratitude...

Two: THE VIA NEGATIVA
This way goes into the darkness, the wounds, the pain, and also the silence and solitude of existence to find what we have to learn there. It is a way of letting go and letting be, of emptying and being emptied, of moving beyond judgment and beyond control, of sinking and learning to breathe, to sit, to be still... It is the way of grieving. Without grief we cannot move on to the next stage, which is one of giving birth....

THREE: THE VIA CREATIVA
Having fallen in love with life often (via positiva) and having been emptied and learned to let go and let be numerous times (via negativa) the spiritual warrior is ready to give birth. Creativity is the weapon... of the true spiritual warrior... every warrior is an artist...

FOUR: THE VIA TRANSFORMATIVA
...Does the work I am doing pass the justice test? Does it benefit the poor and not just the powerful? Does it fill gaps between haves and have-nots or make the chasm deeper? Does it contribute to healing and empowerment of the powerless or does it merely reestablish the privileges of the few and the expense of the many?..."

From Crisis to Growth: Stories of Transformative Life Events

2010-04-23T09:01:00.000-07:00

MPBN just made available online the program they produced that was based on my book, BirthQuake. http://video.mpbn.net/video/1474772898/
They did such a wonderful job sharing stories of transformative life events that attest to how our pain can so often create pathways to possibility.
You can watch it here

What to Remember When Waking by David Whyte

2010-04-10T09:20:00.000-07:00

I was awake at dawn this morning, an all too rare event. I was awed by what occurs each and every morning, an ordinary miracle, and I thought about David Whyte's poem "What to Remember When Waking" from House of Belonging and I thought I would share it with you here...

What to Remember When Waking by David Whyte

In that first hardly noticed moment in which you wake,

coming back to this life from the other

more secret, moveable and frighteningly honest world

where everything began,

there is a small opening into the new day

which closes the moment you begin your plans.

What you can plan is too small for you to live.

What you can live wholeheartedly will make plans enough

for the vitality hidden in your sleep.

To be human is to become visible

while carrying what is hidden as a gift to others.

To remember the other world in this world

is to live in your true inheritance.

You are not a troubled guest on this earth,

you are not an accident amidst other accidents

you were invited from another and greater night

than the one from which you have just emerged.

Now, looking through the slanting light of the morning window

toward the mountain presence of everything that can be

what urgency calls you to your one love?

What shape waits in the seed of you

to grow and spread its branches

against a future sky?

Is it waiting in the fertile sea?

In the trees beyond the house?

In the life you can imagine for yourself?

In the open and lovely white page on the writing desk?

There's so much waiting for me and for you and so I invite you to go now to greet it....

The Happiness Project

2010-04-06T18:34:00.000-07:00

Gretchen Rubin, author of bestselling The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun has learned a whole lot about happiness and has inspired people across the country to take the happiness challenge. Perhaps she will inspire you...

Watch the Happiness Challenge Week One here.

Tara Brach and The Sacred Pause

2010-04-03T07:05:00.000-07:00

Most American adults all too often feel rushed and over extended. We're running late, out of time, in a hurry, busy, busy, busy. Psychotherapist, teacher, author, and Buddhist, Tara Brach, points out that the chinese word for busyness also means "heart- killilng" and stresses the importance of learning to pause and bring attention to what's happening inside of us.

Brach shares in an interview with Ken Aldelman that "We need to reconnect with the life of our bodies, to feel our hearts. That's the sacred pause. At any time, we can take a few breaths, relax, pay attention. Most people keep speeding up to drown out their anxiety. They stay lost in thought, dissociated from the body. Being brave enough to pause entails feeling that anxiety in our bodies. But we also find some space of presence and kindness underneath it."

Brach describes how we can experience the sacred pause in the above video. It's well worth the eight minutes it takes to watch it, no matter how busy you are...

Transform Stress in 30 Days with One-Moment Meditation

2010-04-02T19:56:00.000-07:00

There's a free thirty day online course that looks promising entitled, Transform Stress in 30 Days with One-Moment Meditation. You can begin it here on Oprah.com

Other resources of interest at Oprah.com include:

Listen to audio meditations for Finding Inner Peace

Exercises for Your Awakening

Honoring Science, Spirituality, and LIfe

2010-03-31T05:21:00.000-07:00

Embracing Now

2010-03-26T10:06:00.000-07:00

There's a Chinese proverb that I absolutely love which says, "the best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is now."
Dig in....

Poetry as Soul Medicine

2010-03-25T19:12:00.000-07:00

On Coming Home

2010-03-24T07:42:00.000-07:00

HOME by Kirtana

Beyond the sorrow and the hardships I've endured,
deeper than my inner child,
is a part of me, untouched and free -
innocent, undefiled.

Despite the ignorant and callous acts of man
and all the hurt that they can bring,
my attention has been drawn,
by the grace of God upon
what has never been affected by such things.

A stillness underneath the chaos -
the ground in which events appear.
Some call it presence or pure awareness.
I call it home now. And I live from here.

And no, this does not shield
my heart from future pain,
or take the trauma from my youth,
or exempt me from all rage
at injustice on life's stage,
I just pledge allegiance to a deeper truth.

A truth that underlies the chaos,
a peace from which events arise -
elusive to the mind,
but never hard to find -
always here to realize.

It's a peace that passeth understanding -
the very ground in which our lives appear.
Some call it Self or even God.
I call it home now. And I live from here.

When Bad Things Happen

2010-03-17T20:15:00.000-07:00

A young man emailed me this evening asking me the age old question, "why did this (a bad thing) happen to me?" Part of my response included a quote from Harlod Kushner that I whole heartedly agree with, and thougtht I would share here in this blog.

“Let me suggest that the bad things that happen to us in our lives
do not have a meaning when they happen to us. They do not happen
for any good reason which would cause us to accept them willingly.
But we can give them a meaning. We can redeem these tragedies
from senselessness by imposing meaning on them. The question we
should be asking is not, ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ That is really an unanswerable, pointless question. A better question would be, ‘Now that this has happened to me, what am I going to do about it?’"

Harold Kushner, “When Bad Things Happen to Good People”

While there are so seldom satisfying answers, and all too many quesitons, the most important question must eventually become, "what now?"

Very Good Programs to View Online From UCT on Anxiety and Stress

2010-03-15T07:29:00.000-07:00

University of California television offers a number of informative programs that can be viewed online on a wide variety of topics. I thought I'd very briefly outline a few that are available which address dealing with anxiety and stress.

UCT Recently aired a program entitled, "Worrying Well" which can be viewed here . The program is described as follows: "Physician, author, speaker, researcher, and consultant Martin L. Rossman, MD, discusses how to use the power of the healing mind to reduce stress and anxiety, relieve pain, change lifestyle habits..."

Coping With Stress: Cognitive-Behavioral Stress Reduction is a very practical and informative presentation provides effective strategies for dealing with stress and anxiety.

Jon Kabat-Zinn's presentation, Coming to Our Senses
offers an excellent overview of mindfulness meditation, stress reduction, and the application of ancient Buddhist practices to healing.

In Positive Emotion in the Midst of Stress: Its Not Crazy it's Adaptive social psychologist Judith Moskowitz explores how positive emotions can be used to more effectively cope with stress.

The Misunderstood Epidemic: Depression

2010-03-10T18:52:00.000-08:00

"The Misunderstood Epidemic: Depression" airs on PBS on March 25 at 9:00 PM. Considering that one in four women and one in eight men reportedly suffer from depression in the US, this is an important program to view.

Cognitive Processing Therapy

2010-03-02T18:38:00.000-08:00

Psychotherapy Brown Bag recently wrote about a wonderful online resource that provides instructions on the implementation of cognitive processing therapy in working with individuals suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. This free course can be found at http://cpt.musc.edu/index .

Writing, Depression and Healing

2010-01-28T11:22:00.000-08:00

There has been a significant amount of research indicating that writing promotes both emotional and physical healing.

In “Writing Through the Darkness: Easing your Depression with Paper and Pen,” author Elizabeth Maynard Schafer cites a number of studies which support that writing about traumatic events can ultimately improve mood, reduce blood pressure, increase immune system functioning, alter brain wave patterns, reduce pain, and more (pp. 36-38). Schafer also writes about her own struggles with depression and offers a number of approaches to writing as well as writing prompts, recommendations, resources, and suggestions for the creation and maintenance of a writing group for those with mood disorders. She also maintained a blog and while she is no longer updating it, it contains some wonderful writing prompts for use either individually and within a group. I’ll be using some her prompts during the 12 - week group that I plan on offering beginning in April for those who struggle with depression.

"My Stroke of Insight" and Dealing with Our Emotions

2010-01-21T13:33:00.000-08:00

In her book, My Stroke of Insight, Harvard trained brain scientist, Jill Bolte Taylor shares significant insights about the brain and mind that she gained after experiencing and recovering from a stroke in 1996. While the book offers some fascinating information regarding how the right brain and left brain both differ and work together, what stroke victims experience, what they most need, and how we can very naturally attain a deep inner piece, I’d like to focus on one particular discovery – the power of our minds to alter our experiences.

Taylor points out that while “there are certain limbic system (emotional) programs that can be triggered automatically, it takes less than 90 seconds for one of these programs to be triggered, surge through our body, and then be completely flushed out of our blood stream.” Our anger response is one of those emotional programs that can be triggered automatically. Once it’s triggered, certain chemicals are released by our brains and course through our bodies, creating an automatic physiological response. However, within 90 seconds the chemical component of our anger has completely dissipated from our bloodstream and our automatic response is over. If, on the other hand, we remain angry after the initial 90 seconds have passed, it’s because we’ve chosen to allow this circuit to keep running. Each moment, we make the choice to either tie into our neurocircuitry or shift back into the present moment, permitting our anger to dissolve as passing physiology. We unconsciously make decisions about how we’ll respond to situations that we find ourselves in all of the time. We can spiral into reactivity or consciously choose to respond by bringing our attention back to the present moment.

Taylor suggests that when our brains begin a loop that feels “harshly judgmental, counter-productive, or out of control,” we wait 90 seconds for the physiological/emotional process to dissipate and then inform our brains that while we appreciate its ability to feel feelings and think thoughts, we’re not interested in feeling these feelings or thinking these thoughts anymore. We then ask it to please stop bringing them to our attention. In making this request, we’re consciously asking our brains to stop getting stuck in unhelpful thought patterns. Another option is to use the thought stopping techniuqe or the five R’s technique (recognize, refuse, relax, reframe, resume) http://www.performanceprime.com/performance-04_negative_thought_stopping.php

Taylor writes, “I believe it is vital to our health that we pay very close attention to how much time we spend hooked into the circuitry of anger, or the depths of despair. Getting caught up in these emotionally charged loops for long periods of time can have devastating consequences on our physical and mental well-being because of the power they have over our emotional and physiological circuitry. However… it is equally important that we honor these emotions when they surge through us…The healthiest way I know how to move through an emotion effectively is to surrender completely to that emotion when its loop of physiology comes over me. I simply resign to the loop and let it run its course of 90 seconds. Just like children, emotions heal when they are heard and validated. Over time, the intensity and frequency of these circuits usually abate.” She then makes a conscious choice to return her thoughts to the present moment.

Honoring our Clients

2010-01-12T13:31:00.000-08:00

There is a Sanskrit blessing that has been so meaningful to me from the first time I read it. It speaks to honoring each person that we encounter. It says, “I honor the place in you where the universe resides. I honor the place in you of love, of light, or truth, of peace. I honor the place within you where if you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me we are one.”

I am continually striving to do this...

Updates on the Treatment of Depression

2010-01-07T10:16:00.000-08:00

There have been several studies recently published on the treatment of depression. Among the findings reported are:

According to an analysis published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, antidepressants, while still the best option in the treatment of major depression, appear to offer little benefit to those suffering from milder forms of depression.

Women are at greater risk of developing depression and face significant physical consequences including but not limited to compromised brain functioning, heart disease, and reduced bone density. You can read more here

The National Institute for Health and clinical Excellence recommneds mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for indiviudals who have experienced three or more episodes of depression. Mindfulness training reduced the relapse rate of those struggling with recurrent depression by half according to two clinical trials. You can read more here.

You can preview the book, Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy for Depression here

When Questioning Everything

2010-01-05T12:34:00.000-08:00

A man wrote me recently to let me know that he no longer felt the vigor of his youth, no longer felt motivated by the dreams that had sustained him for so long. He felt lost. He questioned everything and no longer trusted anything. He asked what was wrong with him, and why he should even “bother anymore.” He assured me that he wasn’t suicidal, just stuck in some “no man’s land.” Was he depressed? Perhaps. Was this a particular pathology or something more universal? Was it possible that the land he found himself stranded in was every man (and woman’s) land? Could be. If we’re blessed to live long enough, doesn't each of us eventually find ourselves mired in the murk of doubt and uncertainty for a time?

I struggled with how to respond to his question, “why bother?” for a time and then I recalled a quote in Sue Monk Kidds book, “When the Heart Waits” by Janice Brewi and Anne Brennan from their book, “Midlife.” The quote read:

“When, one day in mid-life one comes to doubt oneself- and all one’s relationships and commitments, and when the pain and anxiety of this dropping away of… energy from all that formerly was so life-giving begins to overwhelm, there surfaces the depth question: Why bother? Lucky the one who lets that question stand…That question is a prayer.”

"Why bother?" can become a sacred quest if asked with an open heart, one that widens our horizens, and seldom satisfied with easy answers, often calls us into a deeper more meaningful way of seeing and being.

The First Episode of "This Emotional Life" Airs Tonight

2010-01-04T13:59:00.000-08:00

Tonight on PBS from at 8 pm eastern standard time the first of the three part series, "This Emotional Life" airs. The series is scheduled for January 4th through the 6th and will explore relationships and emotional health, negative emotions such as anger and fear, and how we develop resiliency and achieve happiness.

The PBS offers the following description:

"Harvard psychologist and best-selling author of Stumbling on Happiness, Professor Daniel Gilbert, talks with experts about the latest science on what makes us “tick” and how we can find support for the emotional issues we all face.

Each episode weaves together the compelling personal stories of ordinary people and the latest scientific research along with revealing comments from celebrities like Chevy Chase, Larry David, Alanis Morissette, Robert Kennedy, Jr., and Richard Gere."

I'm looking forward to it!

The Best Spiritual Books of 2009

2010-01-02T13:57:00.000-08:00

Spirituality and Practice has published their list of the Best Spiritual Books of 2009. Among them are:
the following:

Waking Up to This Day: Seeing the Beauty Right Before Us

Living Fully, Dying Well: Reflecting on Death to Find Your Life's Meaning

Altar in the World, An: A Geography of Faith

Tales of Wonder: Adventures Chasing the Divine, an Autobiography Tales of Wonder: Adventures Chasing the Divine, an Autobiography

Making the Good Life Last: Four Keys to Sustainable Living

Agenda for a New Economy: From Phantom Wealth to Real Wealth

Facing us and Daily Strength: Two Wonderful Resources for Those Struggling With Mood Disorders

2009-12-22T07:05:00.000-08:00

I would like to write about two wonderful resources for those struggling with depression, anxiety, and more.

Facing Us is an online community and resource center for those suffering from mood disorders. It offers the following:

"■Screening Center: Fill out a confidential questionnaire to see if you might be experiencing signs of depression, mania or anxiety.

■Learn about Depression: Learn about the illness, its signs and symptoms, treatment options and the prevalence of depression that occurs with other medical illnesses such as heart disease, diabetes, anxiety, etc.

■Learn about Bipolar Disorder: Learn about the illness, its signs and symptoms, treatment options and the prevalence of bipolar disorder that occurs with other medical illnesses such as heart disease, diabetes, anxiety, etc.

■Learn about Anxiety: Learn about the illnesses, the signs and symptoms, treatment options and the prevalence of anxiety that occurs with other medical illnesses such as heart disease, diabetes, depression, bipolar disorder, etc.

■Educate Yourself: Browse through more than 40 different DBSA publications about mood disorders, treatment options or challenges and information on how others can help.

■Find a Support Group: You are not alone! Find a support group near you using our convenient search tool. DBSA chapters run more than 1,000 peer-led support groups across the United States.

■Watch & Listen: At DBSA's online Recovery Education Center, take a class, watch videos and listen/subscribe to podcasts.

■Sleep Better: Good sleep habits have a significant impact on maintaining wellness. Get tips and information on how to improve your sleep. You can even request a "sleep kit."

It also offers an online journal, wellness tracker, creativity center and more.

Daily Strength "is the largest, most comprehensive health network of people sharing their advice, treatment experiences, and support.

•Access 500+ support groups for health issues and life challenges

•Set realistic goals and get advice from people just like you

•Research the latest drugs, treatments and alternative therapies"

The Personal Lives of Therapists

2009-12-18T08:03:00.000-08:00

Being a therapist is highly rewarding, extremely challenging and often exhausting work. How does this work effect the personal lives of therapists? Psyche Visual offers a free online presentation this month by Doctor Brendan McPhillips entitled, “What Happens to the Therapist in Therapy?” McPhillips distributed surveys and conducted interviews with therapists in order to answer this question.

One respondent to McPhillips survey described his psychotherapy career as akin to “a life spent under the sea, so the fragile life giving sunshine and upper earth realities take on a new value and a new beauty” You can listen to this month’s free presentation here

Living in Gratitude by Caroline Myss

2009-12-16T06:24:00.000-08:00

The above is a brief video on living in gratitude. Myss urges us to make "the appreciation of life" our spiritual practice. Not an easy task by any means, but an essential one if we are committed to living our lives fully and with grace. Adabella Radici wrote, "As each day comes to us refreshed and anew, so does my gratitude renew itself daily. The breaking of the sun over the horizon is my grateful heart dawning upon a blessed world."

It requires no effort to acknowledge how deeply troubled this world is, how much pain and suffering is present each and every second of each and every day. And yet, there is so very much beauty here - so much love, and compassion, and wisdom... When I open my grateful heart, I both bless and am blessed.

online video Marsha Linehan on Mindfulness and DBT

2009-12-12T06:31:00.000-08:00

Youtube offers a presentation delivered by Marsha Linehan at the Awakening To Mindfulness conference on mindfulness and DBT skills. You can watch the remainder of the lecture by following the associated links following the first segment of the lecture.

There is also a wonderful online resource for developing DBT skills here

Problems and Possibilities

2009-12-08T11:22:00.000-08:00

In The Five Stages of the Soul, author and executive director of the Brookdale Center on Aging at Hunter College, Harry Moody, describes an exercise he periodically asks his students to complete. First, he requests that students compile a list of the significant problems that currently confront them. Next, students are asked to number the problems in order of severity, and then to read each problem while asking themselves the following questions as they move through the list:

"Is this problem really as dire as I imagine it to be? What are its potential good points? What is the worse that can happen to me? What is the best?

How can I use this problem, these feelings of dejection or loss or futility, to understand myself better? What are these feelings really telling me? Suppose I were to think of this problem as a messenger standing at my front door with a letter. What does the letter tell me about my life, my needs, my possible course of action?

Think back to previous similar problems. Now that the pain and suffering associated with them is past, would you avoid the suffering that they brought if you knew you would be deprived of the insights such experiences provided? If so, why? Or why not?

What hidden messages are there in this for me to learn from? How can I take the suffering that life has handed me and use it as a tool for spiritual growth?..."

These are extremely helpful questions to ask when one is attempting to gain perspective, harvest experience, and formulate a course of action.

Psychotherapy , Happiness and Money

2009-12-03T08:58:00.000-08:00

According to a study conducted at the University of Warwick and published in “Health Economics, Policy and Law,” psychotherapy may be 32 times more effective at fostering happiness and well being than either getting a raise or winning the lottery.

Study author, Chris Boyd wrote, “Often the importance of money for improving our well-being and bringing greater happiness is vastly over-valued in our societies…The benefits of having good mental health, on the other hand, are often not fully appreciated and people do not realize the powerful effect that psychological therapy, such as non-directive counseling, can have on improving our well-being."

I’m reminded here of psychologist and author, David Myers observation that “We excel at making a living but often fail at making a life. We celebrate our prosperity but yearn for purpose. We cherish our freedoms but long for connection. In an age of plenty, we feel spiritual hunger.”

Study after study concludes that material wealth is not correlated with emotional, physical or spiritual health, and retail therapy offers far less in terms of satisfaction and well-being than psychotherapy. Even a poll conducted by the Roper organization, commissioned by Jean Chatzky, financial editor of the Today show and columnist for Money magazine in 2003, concluded that personal happiness is not connected to how much money you have to spend. If you want to be happy, your best bet is to invest in your relationships and the health of your mind, body, and spirit rather than in gold, stocks, bonds, or your bank account.

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

2009-11-29T19:22:00.001-08:00

The Depression and Bipolar Support alliance is a wonderful resource for those struggling with depression or bipolar disorder and for those who care about them. It offers information, support groups, a newsletter, a wellness tracker, advocacy services, podcasts and so much more. The mission of DBSA is "to provide hope, help, and support to improve the lives of people living with depression or bipolar disorder. DBSA pursues and accomplishes this mission through peer-based, recovery-oriented, empowering services and resources when people want them, where they want them, and how they want them."
There are also local DBSA offices and support groups. Information pertaining to the Maine state organization follows:

State Organization
DBSA Maine
Contact 1: Jeffrey Irving
Phone: (207) 650-3248
Email: jcirving@maine.rr.com

Continuing to Practice Gratitude

2009-11-27T12:20:00.000-08:00

Matthew Fox wrote, "…gratitude has been at the heart of my spirituality. It has to do with awe… the awe of just being here.” This seems important to remember on Black Friday. While so much of the world rushes all around me, I am tucked in at home, safe and warm. I'm focused on what I have, what I love, what is right before me. And I truly am awed....

On Gratitude

2009-11-20T09:41:00.000-08:00

As Thanksgiving approaches, I’m reminded once again of the benefits to each of us of integrating a gratitude practice into our lives. Allowing ourselves to fully experience a sense of gratitude on a daily basis has proven to be highly beneficial to our minds, bodies, and souls (for more details about how this is so you might want to read, “Giving Thanks: The Effects of Joy and Gratitude on the Human Body” .)

Episcopal priest and author, Matthew Fox declares that gratitude is at the heart of his spirituality. Roman Catholic theologian, David Steindl-Rast, advices that gratitude is the source of our happiness, and Greek Philosopher, Epictetus, maintains that gratitude is a characteristic of wisdom. My own experience supports the assertions of these grateful sages.

When I practice gratitude on a daily basis I not only feel better, I believe that I become a better person. I’m more generous, appreciative, peaceful, and more easily open to wonder and awe. When my practice slips away, it’s not long before I notice the difference. I’m much more likely to be vulnerable to envy, discontentment, and anxiety. I worry more and sleep less; hoard more and give less; work more and celebrate less.

Melodie Beattie observed, “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” My life is fuller when I practice gratitude, it makes more sense, and it offers so many more gifts as my heart opens wider to them.

Gratitude Resources:

Gratefulness.org

Selfless Gratitude

Spirituality & Practice: Gratitude

Lets Create more Grateful Organizations

Selfless Gratitude

Highlights from the Research Project on Gratitude and Thankfulness

Ecotherapy

2009-11-13T10:47:00.000-08:00

Not too long ago I read, “Ecotherapy: Healing with Nature in Mind” and wanted to share the following points made by the various authors of this very thought provoking text.

Ecotherapy is a psychotherapy modality that recognizes the deep connection between humans and the rest of the natural world.

A significant problem today is an ‘inner deadening’ – a defense against the stressors of living in an industrialized society overrun by advertising, toxic chemicals, unethical business practices, consumerism, unhealthy food, overwork, propaganda, and perpetual war.

Psychotherapists should be addressing the cultural issues that create so much pain and suffering today. Instead, most mainstream therapy ignores these issues.

During this time of environmental crisis, it is irresponsible for so many mental health clinicians to fail to connect epidemic rates of depression and anxiety with the suicidal destruction of our home- the earth.

Many clients fail to recognize that their grief and fear may be connected to “the death of so many living beings and the ongoing distress of Earth, air, and ocean life all around us. Because we’re not being informed about links between mental health symptoms caused by the way we live and the accelerating inner and outer devastation, we remain mystified about why we feel so much pain.”

Most people living in our culture have been treated like objects for all of their lives. “This is the source of the wound to the soul underlying most of human misery that therapists encounter. Because people have come to experience themselves as objects, they in turn objectify other people and commodify the world. They feel alienated , isolated, and empty, believing their lives hold no meaning.”

In the absence of soul and connection, we are confronted with a profound emptiness and loneliness. This emptiness leads to cultural distress that in turn manifests through social and economic inequities, violence, dysfunction in individuals, families, organizations, and entire communities, as well as a host of societal and psychological disorders.

Our connection to the very source of life has been severed, consequently we are possessed by an unrelenting hunger that we attempt to satisfy by consuming more and more goods, and in the process we continue to destroy our environment.

Ecopsychology attempts to respond to the sources of our cultural illness and to repair the lost connection “with the more-than human world. Its intention is to re-animate the world, to restore its soul.”

Ecotherapy is soul work and involves an awakening to beauty.

The unrelenting pursuit of money is one of the most pervasive and accepted forms of psychopathology (craziness) in our culture.

Bill McKibben points out that the consequences of the ethos of looking out for number one that permeates our culture is apparent on so many fronts. For instance, the United States used to be the healthiest nation in the world, now its rank is twenty-seventh.

Community is the key to both physical survival and human satisfaction. In fact, if you don’t currently belong to any group or club of some kind, by joining one, you reduce the risk that you will die within the next year by half. We truly do serve as healers for one another.

The World Abounds with Healers

2009-11-11T11:29:00.000-08:00

We are surrounded by healers. They're everywhere.

All we need to do is to open our hearts....

Excellent Blogs That Address Mental Health Issues

2009-11-05T07:05:00.000-08:00

There are some wonderful blogs on the internet that offer timely and helpful information to readers including:

Psych Central World of Psychology Blog

Psychology Today Blogs

Markham's Behavioral Health Blog

Depression on My Mind

The Trouble with Spikol

Panic!

Beyond Blue

Walking the Black Dog

Sanctuary: A Mental Health Blog

Anxious No More Blog

Research Digest Blog

The Urban Monk

The Mindfulness Blog

Mindfulness and Psychotherapy

The Search for Happiness: Epicurus Then and Now

2009-10-29T16:48:00.000-07:00

Epicurus was a Greek philosopher who thought and spoke a great deal about happiness, contentment, and living well. Among the numerous nuggets of wisdom he offered were:

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”

“It is impossible to live a pleasant life without living wisely and well and justly. And it is impossible to live wisely and well and justly without living a pleasant life.”

“Not what we have But what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance.”

“Nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little.”

Today, with so much talk about hard times, corporate greed, and the search for the good life, much of his message seems relevant to me today.

Following is a very well produced video entitled, "Epicurus on Happiness. It offers some valuable food for thought. Parts two and three of the three part series are available at y0utube.com

Creativity and Honoring our Own Gifts

2009-10-21T11:32:00.000-07:00

Julia Cameron describes the process of engaging in art as tapping into our 'vein of gold' – the origin of our creative impulses as well as our connection to the divine. Each of us, according to Cameron, possesses this precious conduit which can be found at the very heart of our lives. However, if our hearts have been wounded, then they must be healed in order for our vein of gold to flow freely. In her book, “The Vein of Gold” Cameron describes this process of healing as a pilgrimage home to ourselves where, “we will be taking the dross of our lives -- the disappointments, wounds, and burdens -- and we will make them into gold through the power of creativity. All of our lives are already golden -- in potential -- if we are willing to do the necessary work of transformation.”

I was speaking with a group of women recently about the importance of creativity and tapping into our unique veins of gold when one woman shared, “I wish I were, but I’m just not creative.” I immediately responded, “when I came into this room today, all I saw at first were strangers. I only knew one person here. Now, in spite of the fact that I’ve learned to hide it well, I’m very shy and so it was uncomfortable for me at first. And then I looked over at you, another unfamiliar face and you immediately gave me such a welcoming and beautiful smile that I relaxed right away. Right at the moment you smiled at me you created a safe place for me.”

I didn’t just say those words to her to make her feel better. I meant them from the bottom of my heart. She has a very special gift that not everyone possesses, and she created something wonderful today, and not just for me. I watched her repeatedly project this warm and healing energy into our group. There are so many ways to be creative and I am tremendously grateful for gifts such as hers. I honor her gift and encourage her to claim it. I encourage you to honor and claim your own creative gifts as well.

Art, Healing, and Elizabeth Layton

2009-10-16T08:26:00.000-07:00

In "Creativity and Madness: Psychological Studies of Art and Artists," counselor and art therapist, Vivian Rogers wrote the following about artist, Elizabeth Layton:

“The artist, Elizabeth Layton, defied traditional rites of passage in old age. Her point of departure was a 30- year crisis of manic depression and the cruelest blow of all – the death of a child. Yet ahead was an astonishing journey of creativity and personality growth…

…The death of a son precipitated a psychological crisis when she was 67 and was the turning point in Layton’s late life development…

…It had been a rocky road, with a lingering sadness that began in childhood, a failed first marriage, the need to support five young children, and life in a small Midwestern town where, as county newspaper editor, her liberated views often put her at odds with her readers. Thirteen electroshock treatments, lithium and psychotherapy failed to bring any lasting relief. A successful second marriage and the support of loving friends and family also proved inadequate to buffer the pain.”

While grieving for her son, Layton followed her sister’s advice and enrolled in a drawing class at Ottawa University. While taking the course Layton was introduced to blind contour drawing, a technique designed to assist the artist in tapping into the right side of the brain so that he or she experiences what is drawn rather than simply drawing what is seen. “From the inward search, carried on through drawings so stark she could hardly look at them, Layton’s depression lifted, and healing came within the year and her bi-polar symptoms never returned.”

From the time Layton took her first class in her sixties, she completed over a 1,000 drawings, many of which have been displayed in prestigious galleries and museums. Rogers wrote, “At first convinced that it was the contour drawing technique alone that cured her, Layton was later to conclude that it was both the act of blind contour drawing and the finding of meaning in her drawings that made her well. She thought that those who do contour drawing experience some sort of catharsis, some relief from the pain of their emotions as, after the images mysteriously take shape on the page, the artist reflect on the meanings of what they have drawn. …Layton’s written commentary, which often accompanied her drawings, was another way she explored and shared meaning. …Layton said the commentary also provided closure.”

In "The Art Therapy Source Book", Cathy Malchiodi observes, “Art therapy is a powerful means of making painful and frightening events concrete and dissociating them from ourselves. …one of the most impressive aspects of the arts process is its potential to achieve or restore psychological equilibrium. Art therapy emerged from the idea that art can be used not only to alleviate or contain feelings of trauma, fear, or anxiety but also to repair, restore, and heal.” Therapist and author, Natalie Rogers writes, “Part of the psychotherapeutic process is to awaken the creative life-force energy. Thus creativity and therapy overlap.”

It’s not my intention to suggest for a moment that art is a magical cure for mental illnesses and despair. I wish it were that simple. However, I certainly find Layton’s story to be inspirational and one that supports my belief in the tremendous potential contained within art and other creative acts to foster meaning and facilitate healing.

A free online lesson in Blind Contour Drawing

Drawing Against Depression

Grandma Layton: Art Heals

Progress: Special Edition on the Treatment of Trauma and Creative Arts Therapy

How Creativity Heals

The Good Life

2009-10-13T14:57:00.000-07:00

Life, Creativity, and Everything is Holy Now

2009-10-09T10:17:00.000-07:00

Everything is Holy Now...

"There is no greater joy than the feeling of oneself creator. The triumph of life is expressed by creation.”
Henri Bergson

Theologian and author Matthew Fox describes lifestyle as an art form and urges us to create life styles of “spiritual substance.” Fox also observes in his book Creativity that:

“Creativity, when all is said and done, may be the best thing our species has going for it. It is also the most dangerous… When we consider creativity, we are considering the most elemental and innermost and deeply spiritual aspects of our beings. The great thirteenth century mystic Meister Eckhart asks: ‘what is it that remains?’ And his answer is, ‘That which is inborn in me remains. That which we give birth to from our depths is that which lives on after us. That which is inborn in us constitutes our most intimate moments – intimate with self, intimate with God the Creative Spirit, and intimate with others. To speak of creativity is to speak of profound intimacy. It is also to speak of our connecting to the Divine in us and of our bringing the Divine back to the community.”

When I reflect upon the life styles that I’ve unconsciously adopted in my past, I’m struck by the opportunities for joy, growth, peace, beauty and so many other sacred gifts that I have squandered. Michael Brownfield defined life as, “that which creates.” Thus, according to Brownfield, if you’re alive, then you’re most definitely a creator. From my perspective, it makes enormous sense that we each take responsibility for that which we’re creating.

And so, I’ve decided to see myself as an artist now, one who’s in charge of creating as much beauty and meaning as possible on the canvass that’s before me. I want to be sure to add learning, beauty, compassion, love, sunshine, fresh air, and other gifts to the holy canvass of each and every day. We were created, and now, we are creators. What will you choose to compose from the vast array of materials before you? How will you manifest the Divine that dwells within you?

Cycle of Renewal

2009-10-08T07:43:00.000-07:00

Cycle of Renewal

"as a tree releases
leaves to the earth
to decay and enrich the soil

may I release
what no longer serves
to decay and enrich my self"

-rebecca at The Difference a Year Makes

I found the above at a wonderful blog and resource for both deepening our spirituality and creativity entitled, Abby of the Arts.

As October unfolds, what is it that you are in the process of releasing?

Julia Cameron, “The Artists Way” Creativity & Spirituality

2009-10-03T08:29:00.000-07:00

As a therapist who frequently works with writers and other artists, I’m perpetually it seems engaged in the study of creativity. Over the years, I have become absolutely convinced that engaging in creative acts awakens our intuition, cultivates self- awareness, deepens our spiritual lives, and facilitates healing. (I’ll be writing much more about this in future blog posts.)

Best selling author, Julia Cameron has written a great deal about the connection between creativity and spirituality. In fact, she asserts that the two are interchangeable. In The Artists way Cameron writes, “The heart of creativity is an experience of the mystical union; the heart of the mystical union is an experience of creativity. Those who speak in spiritual terms routinely refer to God as the creator but seldom see creator as the literal term for artist. I am suggesting you take the term creator quite literally. You are seeking to forge a creative alliance, artist-to-artist with the Great Creator. Accepting this concept can greatly enhance your creative possibilities.”

Cameron also offers in “The Artists Way” the following ten spiritual principles as the foundation for which both creative discovery and recovery can be achieved. She suggests that the following principles are read through once a day.

“1. Creativity is the natural order of life. Life is energy: pure creative energy.

2. There is an underlying, in-dwelling creative force infusing all of life -- including ourselves.

3. When we open ourselves to our creativity, we open ourselves to the creator's creativity within us and our lives.

4. We are, ourselves, creations. And we, in turn, are meant to continue creativity by being creative ourselves.

5. Creativity is God's gift to us. Using our creativity is our gift back to God.

6. The refusal to be creative is self-will and is counter to our true nature.

7. When we open ourselves to exploring our creativity, we open ourselves to God: good orderly direction.

8. As we open our creative channel to the creator, many gentle but powerful changes are to be expected.

9. It is safe to open ourselves up to greater and greater creativity.

10. Our creative dreams and yearnings come from a divine source. As we move toward our dreams, we move toward our divinity.”

Does Wendell Potter Both Mirror the Worst, and Model the Best in Us?

2009-09-28T05:40:00.000-07:00

“That which we witness, we are forever changed by, and once witnessed we can never go back.”
Angeles Arrien

Wendell Potter is a former CIGNA executive turned whistle-blower, and current fellow at the Center for Media and Democracy. He had a successful career with Cigna as director of corporate communications, liked his co-workers very much, and was well compensated financially in addition to enjoying numerous perks. So why did he leave and then become adversary to an industry that had treated him so well?

In July of 2007, shortly after Michael Moore’s movie “Sicko” was released (a movie by the way that he worked very hard to discredit, only to later admit that it had been “an honest film”) Potter paid a visit to his parents in Tennessee. While there, he read about a health clinic that was being held in nearby Wise county Virginia by the Remote Area Medical Clinic Volunteer Core and decided to check it out. What he witnessed there shook him to the core and brought him to tears. The clinic was being held at the local fairgrounds where thousands of people (some of whom had driven from Georgia, Kentucky, and South Carolina) were waiting in seemingly endless lines for healthcare delivered in animal stalls. When recalling that July day, Potter told Bill Moyers on Bill Moyers Journal, “It was absolutely stunning. It was like being hit by lightning. It was almost– what country am I in? … it just didn’t seem to be a possibility that I was in the United States. It was like a lightning bolt had hit me.”

Craig Keilburger and Marc Kelburger, founders of “Free the Children and authors of the best selling book, “ME to We: Finding Meaning in a Material World” explore how perfectly good people like you and I come to defend ourselves against the large scale suffering of others by blocking it out and going about business as usual. One way we do this is to distance ourselves from those who are hurting by “convincing ourselves that ‘they’ are not like ‘us.’…We may blame them for their circumstances, emphasizing or imagining all the weaknesses and failures of that group that have led to these circumstances. We may try to ignore the external factors, the political, ideological, economic, military and other forces that shaped their fates from the outside… Seeing people in ‘us’ and ‘them’ terms makes it easier to dehumanize and devalue them, to assume that there are fundamental differences between us and them, and to blame them for their suffering. Thinking in ‘us’ and ‘them’ terms also makes it easier to reduce people to numbers, to conveniently forget about their individuality.”

Suddenly confronted with the desperation and suffering surrounding him at the fairgrounds that day, his defenses began to crumble. He’d been insulated in his high- rise Philadelphia office, flying corporate jets, surrounded by the vestiges of wealth, and served lunches on gold trimmed plates. He hadn’t truly known “what was really going on,” he explained to Moyers. He was aware that 47 million people were uninsured, and that among the insured, there were many who could not afford to pay their deductibles, but he had never attached real live faces to those numbers. In a town not far from the one he grew up in, Wendell Potter had an epiphany. “There could have been people and probably were people that I had grown up with. They could have been people who grew up …in the house down the road from me. And that made it real to me.”

In December, five months after his fateful visit to the fairgrounds, 17 year old Nataline Sarkisyan died the very night that Cigna reversed its decision (under tremendous pressure) to deny coverage for a liver transplant. Here was yet another real person in lieu of a statistic, a young woman with hopes and dreams and whose parents loved her very much, just as Wendell loved his own daughter. In addition to dealing with his feelings regarding Nataline’s death, he was inundated with angry and accusatory calls and letters from people all over the country. In January, Potter informed CIGNA that he would be resigning.

On June 24^th, in Philadelphia, he testified before a U.S. Senate Committee. His opening remarks included, “My name is Wendell Potter and for 20 years, I worked as a senior executive at health insurance companies, and I saw how they confuse their customers and dump the sick — all so they can satisfy their Wall Street investors. I know from personal experience that members of Congress and the public have good reason to question the honesty and trustworthiness of the insurance industry. Insurers make promises they have no intention of keeping, they flout regulations designed to protect consumers, and they make it nearly impossible to understand — or even to obtain — information we need.”

Three months later he met with the House Democratic Steering and Policy Committee and warned, “…if Congress goes along with the so-called ‘solutions’ the insurance industry says it is bringing to the table and acquiesces to the demands it is making of lawmakers, and if it fails to create a public insurance option to compete with private insurers, the bill it sends to the president might as well be called the Insurance Industry Profit Protection and Enhancement Act.” He further explained that the Baucus plan would enable insurers to charge the elderly and families up to 7.5 times as much as younger people, weaken state regulation of insurers, fail to make affordable coverage for those currently insured more available, or stop the increase in medical bankruptcy. Instead, the Baucus bill would insure a huge new stream of revenue for the insurance companies as individuals were forced to purchase insurance policies and taxpayers were required to finance the necessary subsidies for those who could not afford the premiums.

Potter also stressed to congress that the public option should “not just be an ‘option’ to be bargained away at the behest of insurance companies who are pouring money into Congress to defeat substantial and essential reforms. A public option must be created to provide true choice to consumers or reform will fail to truly fix the root of the severe problems that have been caused in large part by the greedy demands of Wall Street. By creating a strong public option and restricting the insurance industry's ability to enrich executives and investors at the expense of taxpayers and consumers, H.R. 3200 will truly benefit average Americans. The Baucus plan, on the other hand, would create a government-subsidized monopoly for the purchase of bare bones, high-deductible policies that would truly benefit Big Insurance. In other words, insurers would win; your constituents would lose.”

I am grateful to Wendell Potter. Yes, it’s certainly true that he was aware of the unethical and in some cases deadly practices of his industry, and he actively participated in many of them, however, how different was he really from the rest of us? How different is he from those of us who turn away when the faces of starving children flash across our television screen while a narrator urges us to commit to just dollars a day (less than the cost of a large Starbucks coffee) to help feed these children? How different is he from those of us who are well aware of the wrongs committed by our own industries while we continue to show up for work each day and collect our paychecks? How different is he from those who die each and every year from “karosh,i” the Japanese term for death due to job related stress and overwork; those poor souls (my own husband came very close to being one of them) who dragged themselves to work every day while knowing at some level that their current jobs were truly ‘killing’ them? How is it that in a free and democratic society according to David Johnson “Americans put in more hours at work than any other nation, surpassing even the workaholic Japanese. We average nine more weeks of labor per year than our working counterparts in Western Europe, who get at least 20 paid days of vacation each year.”

It’s been said that evil prevails when good people do nothing to stop it. I am one of those people who on far too many occasions have done nothing. As Rabbi Abraham Heschel wisely pointed out, “In regards to cruelties committed in the name of a free society, some are guilty, while all are responsible.” Wendell Potter, from my perspective, is most definitely a guilty man. He is also a product of his society, a society that according to Paul Rogat Loeb, “has systematically taught us to ignore the ills we see, and leave them to others to handle.” Wendell Potter is working very diligently to right the wrongs that he both witnessed and participated in committing. What about those of us who stand by and do nothing while special interest groups twist the facts and feed the fears of misinformed but perfectly good people? What about those of us who refuse to take a stand while thousands of mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers and children die each year in the United States of America because they lack access to proper health care? We might, just might, escape the guilt, but we cannot escape the responsibility.

A Lecture by Karen Armstrong on A Charter for Compassion

2009-09-26T09:21:00.000-07:00

On Fora Tv a lecture by author, theologian, and former nun, Karen Armstrong on the Charter for Compassion was delivered at Chautauqua. You can watch her wise and very important lecture here

On the Huffingtonpost.com website Armstrong explains why the Charter for Compassion is so important:

"It is bitterly ironic that our world is so dangerously polarized at a time when we are linked together -- electronically, financially and politically -- closely than ever before. The powerful nations can no longer ignore trouble spots in other parts of the world; what happens in Iraq, Gaza or Afghanistan is likely to have repercussions tomorrow in London or New York. But the atrocities of September 11, 2001 and its tragic aftermath split the world into rival camps that are growing daily more estranged.

The religions that should help to heal these divisions have themselves been gravely implicated in the terrorism and violence of our time. Actually, the chief cause of our present troubles is political but in regions of the world where warfare has become chronic -- the Middle East, Afghanistan, Kashmir, Chechnya -- religion has been sucked into the vicious cycle of aggression, strike and counter-strike.

Yet at the core of every single one of the world religions is the virtue of compassion, which does not mean "pity"; its Latin root means to feel with the other. Each one of the world religions has developed its own version of the Golden Rule -- Do not treat others as you would not like to be treated yourself -- and maintained that this is the prime religious duty." You can read the entire article here

Armstrong describes her work on Bill Moyers Journal ,

"My work has continually brought me back to the notion of compassion. Whichever religious tradition I study, I find at the heart of it is the idea of feeling with the other, experiencing with the other, compassion. And every single one of the major world religions has developed its own version of the Golden Rule. Don't do to others what you would not like them to do to you.
....We've got to do better than this. Compassion doesn't mean feeling sorry for people. It doesn't mean pity. It means putting yourself in the position of the other, learning about the other. Learning what's motivating the other, learning about their grievances."

On Transitions and September in Maine

2009-09-18T07:05:00.000-07:00

I love Maine in September. I savor its gentle temperatures, mist filled mornings, and its quiet country roads. While I’ll admit that there’s a slight melancholy in the air as summer drifts relentlessly backward into the past, there’s a whiff of promise too. The leaves are beginning their spectacular turning, the apples and pumpkins grow closer to harvest with the dawn of each new day, and tomatoes hang ripe and juicy on the vine.

Autumn is a time of both abundance and disintegration, of brilliant vistas and diminishing light. In the midst of plenty, as we gather the harvest, the cooling mornings and shortened days inform us that winter is on its way. Making this transition can be particularly challenging to embrace for those of us who reside in the north country. And yet, embrace it we must if we want to participate as fully as possible in the enduring cycles of nature and in our own inevitable evolution. Everything changes, and just as whole new vistas open up in winter, I am reminded that each and every ending contains its own beginning. Transition periods whether welcomed or not very often compel us to stretch and grow, offering us a certain amount of grace if we will only try our best to meet them with acceptance and receptivity.

Joan Chittister in, “Called to Question: A Spiritual Memoir observed, “Transitions complete us. We ripen. We learn. We hurt. We survive one thing after another…Then, in the end, we gain what we came to get – a kind of well worn, hard-won wisdom… the problem is that we all too seldom bother to stop and notice how much we have become in the process.” Each September finds me in a different place than I was the one before. Last year was filled with change, challenge, and celebration. This September finds me struggling to keep a healthy perspective as I slowly and faithfully work my way through grief.

Perhaps I love September so much because it symbolizes on some level crossing over a threshold. Just as the natural world begins once more its seasonal process of transformation - from summer to fall, fall to winter and finally winter to spring- we are reminded that during the course of our lives the landscape of both our bodies and our souls is altered again and yet again.

The Spiritual Advantages of a Painful Childhood

2009-09-03T13:10:00.000-07:00

In Legacy of the Heart: The Spiritual Advantages of a Painful Childhood", Wayne Muller observed that those who suffered in childhood, while baring painful scars, invariably exhibit exceptional strengths including remarkable insight, creativity, and a profound inner wisdom. He challenges those of us who have suffered to not perceive ourselves as broken and damaged, nor to disown those dark and wounded places in ourselves, but instead to work to reawaken that which is wisest, strongest and whole within us.

In working with victims of childhood trauma, Muller noted that while still haunted by the past, many also develop an acute sensitivity to others as well as a tendency to seek beauty, love and peace. He writes, "Seen through this lens, family sorrow is not only a painful wound to be endured, analyzed and treated. It may in fact become a seed that gives birth to our spiritual healing and awakening."

It's been my own experience as a therapist that this is often the case with survivors of childhood trauma. While not all survivors with whom I've worked possess the characteristics that Muller so respectfully describes, I'm almost always touched by their strength and depth. Each person has brought to therapy his or her own unique skills, stories, and beauty - gifts that truly seemed to be forged to a significant degree in the flames of the very pain they now seek to escape.

Muller assures the reader that suffering and pain are not exceptions to the human condition. Instead they are inevitable threads that make up the tapestry of a life. He cautions us to not become entangled in our memories of childhood suffering - to not let our pain resonate throughout the whole of our lives. He also points out that many of us would prefer to explain our hurt rather than to feel it. He advises that we acknowledge our pain, allow ourselves to experience it, and then to look for the lessons it will inevitably teach if we only look and listen, particularly to the wisdom contained within the depths of our very own souls.

While I never, under any circumstances want to minimize or justify the pain of another, nor suggest that anyone be grateful for their suffering, I do try to gently suggest to my clients (when they are ready to consider the suggestion) that even the most painful path can be a pathway to possibilities not yet discovered.

There have been many hurtful experiences in my own life that I would have adamantly refused to face had I been given the choice. I am also aware that to deny the value of the message, in spite of how painful the lesson or unwelcome the messenger, only serves to add insult to injury. If you have no choice for the time being but to travel a difficult path, at the very least, why not claim all possible compensations along the way?

Embracing the Day

2009-08-29T13:22:00.000-07:00

The day awaits.
A clean slate
is before me.
Will I fill it with
vibrant people
and experiences?
Will I shape it subtly
and gently
as the wisdom and serenity
of a quiet and reflective morning
unfolds?
Will I balance my canvas with
meaningful work,
a walk in the park,
play with a child,
a good book?
Will I warm it with sweet tea
and a heart-felt smile?
Will I honor my deepest values
and be receptive to the days lessons?
Will I hold fast
or take a stand?
I now begin to acknowledge
how powerful
I truly am....

From: BirthQuake: A Journey to Wholness

Money Driven Medicine Tonight on Bill Moyers Journal

2009-08-28T11:16:00.000-07:00

Tonight on Bill Moyers Journal, "Money Driven Medicine" is featured. I urge everyone to view it.

Psychotherapy and Spiritual Practice

2009-08-23T07:19:00.000-07:00

A young therapist, poet, and regular reader of this blog is exploring the intersection between psychotherapy and spiritual practice. In honor of her substantial ability to both create and appreciate poetry, I thought I would offer what I found to be a rather poetic response to the question, "How is psychotherapy and spiritual practice similar?" by Janet Pfunder in Psychotherapy and Religion: Many Paths, One Journey.

“Psychotherapy and spiritual practice both offer the opportunity to actually suffer our suffering, offsetting the ways we have become numbly unreal to ourselves. We listen for the inaudible scream, finger the invisible scar. We reach toward agony X finding yet never fully finding, yet ever reaching toward, on and on. We fall into ravines, scale perpendicular cliffs, enter flames, and cross scorching deserts looking for the baptism of tears – the kind of tears that fall ever faster as the heart opens. The baptism of tears that transmutes the parched, torn , scorched body into a body of light, a body of breath, a body of gems, over and over and over until the body gradually begins to retain some of its glow. It’s the work of at least one whole long lifetime.”

Working with Female Veterans

2009-08-20T15:02:00.000-07:00

The Coming Home Project, developed to meet the challenges faced by Iraq and Afghanistan veterans and their families, offers a series of presentations which can be viewed online . Among them is a presentation by Darrah Westrup entitled, "Treating Female Veterans of War."

During her presentation Westrup points out that female veterans tend to be younger, receive less in terms of in-service support, and are twice as likely to develop PTSD than their male counterparts. She also discusses the following evidence based treatments that are currently offered to female veterans:

Seeking Safety

Cognitive Processing Therapy

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Buddhism and Psychotherapy

2009-08-11T06:02:00.000-07:00

I have found many of the world's spiritual traditions rich with wisdom which is often both useful and applicable to psychotherapy and life. For instance, while I am not a Buddhist, I have most definitely benefited from some of the lessons that I have learned from the Buddhist tradition and find that there are many Buddhist teachings that make sound clinical sense.

In Awakening and Insight: Zen Buddhism and Psychotherapy, edited by Polly Young-Eisendrath and Shôji Muramoto, Akira Onda observes, "Dhampada, one of the oldest Buddhist texts, begins with the words, ‘We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world.’” These ancient words have been echoed by so many models of psychotherapy including but not limited to cognitive, reality, psychoanalytic, gestalt, humanistic, and narrative therapy.

In the same book quoted above, Young-Eisendrath writes, "In my work as a Jungian psychoanalyst and psychotherapist, I have many opportunities… to engage in the struggle of human suffering, and as many opportunities to test my compassion… An American dread of suffering, based on ignorance about what suffering teaches and how it can be transformed, has recently led to more and more physicalistic and materialist explanations of our pain and adversity. Instead of recognizing the role subjective distress- the ways in which disappointment, anguish, fear, envy, pride, and hostility, for instance, contribute to our suffering – the American anti-suffering campaign now addresses people at the level of neurotransmitters, organ transplants, genetic engineering and biological determinism. This cultural movement has already had massive ill-effects on the practice of psychiatry and psychotherapy over the past two decades in the United States…In this same period of time that this has been unfolding, Buddhism has become a major religious and cultural movement in North America in a way that no one could have easily anticipated in the early 1970…As a result, Buddhism…has, perhaps surprisingly, opened up the possibility of a renewed appreciation of psychodynamic practices of psychotherapy. Because Buddhism presents a spiritual argument for the transformation (not medication) of suffering, as well as specific and systematic methods of analyzing subjective distress…”

As both a therapist and a human being, suffering and the alleviation of suffering has been a great preoccupation of mine for much of my life. It was perhaps from my introduction to the Buddhist perspective on suffering over twenty years ago now that my attention began to shift from how suffering can best be eliminated (an impossibility) to how it might be transformed.
Following are links to additional articles that address Buddhism and psychotherapy that you might find of interest:

Wisdom and compassion: Buddhism and Psychotherapy as Skillful Means

The Search for Happiness Through Buddhism and Psychotherapy

Increasing Use of Buddhist Practices in Psychotherapy

Buddhism and Psychotherapy

Positive Psychology and the Buddhist Path of Compassion

Spirituality and Psychological Health

2009-08-05T11:12:00.000-07:00

In Spirituality and Psychological Health authors Cox, Erwin-Cox, and Hoffman observe, "Undeniably, religion is a reliable source of comfort, hope, and inspiration. It provides meaning and purpose to life, helps people make sense of their suffering, and empowers people to endure even the most challenging circumstances. Religious involvement is also linked to positive physical and mental health. Research studies consistently find that active religious involvement promotes primary and secondary prevention of physical and psychological impairment. For instance, frequent church attendance is negatively correlated with immune system deficiency… People who consistently participate in religious activities and communities may delay the onset of physical disability… and may reduce the mortality rate by 25%… Religious involvement may also safeguard mental health. Individuals who actively exercise their beliefs are less likely to engage in risky behaviors and lifestyle, such as substance abuse, domestic violence, promiscuity, and criminal activities. They tend to have stable marriages, healthy lifestyles, and supportive social relationships. They also experience greater well-being, higher life satisfaction, and less anxiety than their counterpart… Needless to say, there are also negative effects associated with religion, particularly among religious groups that are repressive, controlling, insular, and prejudicial…

…The demand for mental health practitioners with spiritual and religious experience, interests, or background is undeniable. However, the response to this call is generally lukewarm, if not apathetic. For instance, less than one third of practitioners in the filed responded in a survey stating that they would incorporate religious matters as a part of their treatment plan… In general practitioners are skeptical in discussing religious issues in therapy; many are reluctant to explore or address religious topics with their clients. Even when religious issues are brought up in the session, practitioners may tend to be oblivious about the subject matter. Some may downplay its significance in clients’ lives…”

It's my belief that training in how to most effectively and respectfully address both religious and spiritual issues is essential for all mental health professionals.

I'll be writing more about this in future blogs.

The Heart of Psychotherapy

2009-07-31T09:44:00.000-07:00

I came across a quote this morning from an old book entitled, "The Heart of Psychotherapy" by George Weinberg. The quote refers to a message that Weinberg encourages therapists to continually convey to their clients. The message is:

"You are the central figure. Your journey, which began even before you had power to reflect on it, is a magnificent one. It doesn't matter where you came from. In the chaos you made millions of decisions, learning, interpreting life as you saw it, furthering as best you could that single conscious being, which is you. You were perhaps sidetracked and alone, or defeated yourself. Or you labored pointlessly in the wrong relationship, seemed almost buried alive. But your aspirations, like your heart, kept beating, somewhere. Every stage of the journey was precious, and I admire that."

Each therapist offers a different message to his or her clients. I can only hope that regardless of the particulars of the message, it is one that expresses the strengths, beauty, and sacredness of each individual with whom we have the honor of working with.

This most amazing ordinary day

2009-07-10T09:03:00.000-07:00

On the most ordinary and uneventful days I like to remind myself of e.e. cummings celebration and affirmation of the beauty and sacred which exists within the seemingly normal and ordinary. He wrote,

"i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes"

There is so much that is natural and infinite and that says 'yes' contained in each and every day and I often find deep pleasure in creating long lists at the end of my day of all that I encountered that could be considered unremarkable on the one hand and miraculous and beautiful and holy on the other.

A Therapist's Grief and Responsibility

2009-06-26T06:45:00.000-07:00

Last night I wrote to my representative and urged him to pass the American Clean Energy and Security Act. Linda Buzzell and Craig Chalquist wrote in, "Ecotherapy: Healing with Nature in Mind:

“At a time of planetwide environmental crisis, it seems both outrageous and irresponsible that so few mental health clinicians connect the epidemics of mental distress in industrial societies with the devastating impact of our suicidal destruction of our own habitat and ecocidal elimination of whole species that used to share the Earth with us.

Many therapy clients also don’t realize that the grief and fear they struggle with may be natural responses to the death of so many living beings and the ongoing distress of Earth, air, and ocean life all around us. Because we’re not informed abut links between mental health symptoms caused by the way we live and the accelerating inner and outer devastation, we remain mystified about why we feel so much pain.”

I absolutely agree. I have witnessed the frustration, anxiety and grief of adolescents in particular who fear for their futures and who lament the passing of so many awe inspiring creatures from this beautiful and sacred planet. I share their feelings. Perhaps you do too.

War and the Soul

2009-06-18T16:28:00.000-07:00

For anyone working with veterans, I highly recommend Edward Tick’s powerful, painful, and wise book, “War and the Soul: Healing our Nations Veterans from Post-traumatic Stress Disorder.” There is also an online video that addresses Tick’s work with traumatized veterans available for free download entitled, “Forgiveness and Healing.”

Tick observes, "the soul at war is characteristically distorted... War stamps the soul with an indelible imprint and makes it its own. The soul that once went to war is forever transformed..."

"We can embrace the life- affirming and protective capacities of the warrior spirit and practice a living spirituality. We can restore relations with former enemies and with the dead and witness to the suffering caused by war and violence. We can find new and meaningful forms of service that atone for former actions and contribute to the healing of our own veterans and those we harmed. We can perform sacred ceremonies and rituals for ourselves, others, and the dead. All this, hand- in-hand with the truth about war, can lead to a spiritual transformation in which the soul grows again..."

Tick offers valuable insights into how we as therapists can help to not only heal the wounded psyche of veterans, but how we can help to facilitate healing of their wounded souls.

The Dark Night of the Soul

2009-06-12T12:04:00.001-07:00

The Institute for Spirituality and Psychotherapy offers a number of lectures for download including "The Dark Night of the Soul: Psychological and Spiritual Perspectives."

The lecture is delivered by psychotherapists Frances Vaughan and Bryan Wittine and is described by the following:

"In contemporary depth psychology, the term ‘dark night of the soul’ is sometimes used to describe periods that are central to the journey of individuation. During these periods old ego-identificationsbreak down and old values no longer hold true. This presentation focuses on how therapists can honor these periods as an opening of our client’s deepest longings so they might come to appreciate life’s greater meanings and find a more fulfilling relationship with Mystery."

Among the points that Vaughan and Wittine make regarding 'Dark Nights' that I found of particular interest were:

There are two types of dark nights according to John of the Cross who coined the phrase; the night of the senses and the night of the spirit.

During the night of the senses we relinquish our appetite for things of this world and our attachment to things of this world - material goods, status, money, etc.

During the night of spirit we relinquish our attachments to spiritual beliefs and ideas in which we are oriented towards separateness and multiplicity and turn instead towards a consciousness where we are oriented toward unity and oneness with the absolute.

During the Night of the spirit our spiritual experiences and beliefs come into question and we are faced with the absense of the divine (nobody is out there giving us answers.)

The dark night is mysterious. We don’t know where it’s going or what we’re supposed to do. And it’s not something that necessarily just happens once. Dark nights seem to generally happen after we’ve experienced some illumination, when we know there’s more. Dark nights are hard to be in and are thought by some to parallel the Buddhist teachings of impermanence. Also, the cultivation of the “don’t know” mind (a Buddhist concept) can be helpful during dark nights.

The dark night of the senses often shows up in midlife when we discover that the right job, car, partner, etc. won’t do it. Ultimate satisfaction will never come from outside of ourselves.

Dark nights involve giving up illusions

Staying with the experience of the dark night eventually leads to the dawning of the light in some way.

During a dark night we frequently feel like victims, feel sorry for ourselves and gradually we may begin to take a stand such as, "this is no longer acceptable." It is here that we begin to mobilize energy. Often this is angry energy and we enter a period of being an adversary – we may take political action, confront an abuser, become angry at God, etc. Eventually we may shift our anger into a creative endeavor and give up the role of advesary, eventually evolving into co-creators.

Dark nights force us to let go, and every time we let go we are freed up to open our hearts to love.

The dark night is part of the human experience. We can remind each other that we are not alone and that these times are deepening our capacity for compassion and loving kindness.

The dark not is not the same as clinical depression and generally involves the following:

We retain our sense of humor
Our Compassion in enhanced
We feel in spite of the discomfort that there is a sense of rightness about the process
We seldom feel desperate to escape the process
The deeper one goes into the dark night, the qualities of frustration and annoyance diminish and an openness to the dark and not knowing evolves

The dark night has been descriged as a period of 'divine discontent.'

Men and Depression

2009-06-05T06:09:00.000-07:00

In an article entitled, "Men's depression is different -- and Dangerous," Tom Keenan addresses what Harvard psychotherapist Terrence Real identifies as "a silent epidemic in men," chronic depression.

In his article Keenan points out that:

A man's depression tends to manifest differently than a woman's. He is far more likely to act out his pain rather than talk about it. Common ways that depression in males is acted out include but are certainly not limited to workaholism, substance abuse, aggression, and irritability.

Men are less likely to seek help and more likely to commit suicide.

The following are resources available on the web that I often recommend:

Men Get Depression

NIMH: Men and Depression

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Male Depression: Understanding the Issues

Is There Such a Thing as Depressive Personality Disorder?

2009-05-30T07:48:00.000-07:00

Is there such a thing as Depressive Personality Disorder? Todd Finnerty believes so.

"Can you think of a person you may have met or treated whose usual mood was gloomy and unhappy, were they critical of themselves and did they brood and tend to worry?
Did they tend to be negative and judgmental toward others? Were they pessimistic
and prone to feeling guilty or remorseful? Did this person have a Depressive
Personality Disorder?"

So begins Todd Finnerty's thoughtful new book, Depressive Personality Disorder: Understanding Current Trends in Research and Practice which is available for review online.
You can also read Finnerty's blog here .

A description of his book follows:

"This book answers the question “Does Depressive Personality Disorder exist?” with a concise, readable review of current research. DPD is a valid and clinically useful concept which should be included in DSM-V and ICD-11. DPD was offered as both a diagnosis for further
study and an example of a diagnosis that can be made under Personality Disorder NOS in the DSM-IV and DSMIV-TR. The book is intended for professionals, students and anyone else interested in character traits which impact mood. It offers a view of depressive personality
disorder supported by current research. Gain a firm background in recent research and theory on DPD and understand its relationship to chronic depression, dysthymic disorder, cognitive vulnerabilities to depression and the Five-Factor Model of Personality."

Global Spirit

2009-05-21T07:02:00.001-07:00

There is a wonderful resource available online, Global Spirit.

"Global Spirit is an unprecedented inquiry into the universe of human consciousness, across the exciting interface of television and the internet.

We are delighted to be finally launching this new original series, which will be airing nationally on Link TV and selected PBS stations, and internationally via the internet. Each program focuses on a universal theme of global and timeless significance, themes that concern us all on the most basic human level: Forgiveness, Oneness, Ecstasy, Earth Wisdom, Art and the creative process, and more.

Programs will feature riveting conversations between our host Phil Cousineau, and a selection of inspiring guests who speak from first-hand experience about their own personal journeys into the realms of human consciousness and transformation.

These conversations are unlike anything you've heard before on national television. They are complimented by amazing documentary film segments from around the world. These experiential film segments both inspire our guests and ignite their conversations.

Global Spirit also features extraordinary full-length documentaries, which are framed and deepened by engaging interviews with the filmmakers or related guests. Most of the programs will also be streamed right here on our GlobalSpirit.tv website.

Why this series now? It’s no secret that we are currently in a time of deep global economic and environmental crisis. And yet, amidst this crisis, many of use are aware that something new is happening, that a certain sense of change is in the air. But “change” is not something that just happens from the outside. Real change happens on a human, personal level, and most often involves an internal journey. "

I encourage you to pay it a visit and watch the videos that are available there to view and then talk to at least one person about what you saw.